Category Archives: Etiquette

A middle of June mashup

I felt guilty yesterday, and it lightened my wallet a slight bit.

Two ladies who teach at a middle school in Liberty met for drinks. I felt like I was eavesdropping on their conversation. I buried my face in my hands a couple of times.

I thought it was happening again. I had it going through my mind I was “hovering” and making women uncomfortable in a Buffalo Wild Wings.

Very few people have told me outright I’m hovering and making them uncomfortable, but Lord knows how often I’ve thought it.

One of the teachers got there a little after two. She was waiting for her colleague, and ended up waiting more than an hour. She was on her phone quite a bit. We made a little small talk, but once her colleague arrived, I felt uneasy sitting there, despite being engrossed in trivia.

The lovely ladies, Joanne and Heather, told me everything was okay and I wasn’t eavesdropping. Crista has told me more than a few (thousand) times I read too much into situations. I’m sure I’ll tell Crista all about it when I see her on 27 June.

Joanne was the one who arrived early. She asked me if she could help me with anything. Fortunately, she didn’t have to.

I told Tina to put their drinks on my bill. She kept the secret until Heather was ready to pay. Heather was going to pay for a couple of Joanne’s drinks due to being late, but then Tina said their bill had been taken care of.

I shouldn’t be so surprised. There was Kelsey, the young lady in the Army from New Hampshire who stopped in at Zona Rosa on her way to St. Louis in December. I would give anything to hear from her. But I know she’s got much more important things to worry about.

December 27, 2015 still pops into the mind from time to time. It was the infamous Sunday when two strangers began kissing and groping one another while sitting next to me. Luckily Robb and Dawn showed up to provide me company.

Speaking of Zona Rosa, their Buzztime system has been down since Mother’s Day. No sense in going there. Also, most of the employees I knew are gone. Tori, Trey and Morgan are there amongst the veterans, but Liz, Lisa and all the rest are gone.

The atmosphere at Shoal Creek is better. The decor is nice, the lightning isn’t too harsh, and it isn’t as loud as Zona gets. Between all the kids and the hip-hop often blaring from the jukebox, it gets unbearable.

Between Joanne and Heather, Larry, Jeff Lagrande and trivia, yesterday was pretty darn good. I didn’t leave until 2030. I have to leave Kansas City tomorrow before 0730 to make sure I’m back in Russell by 1200. I might have dawdled around town Sunday and then driven home late, but my mother is cooking eggplant parmigana.

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The Raptors won the NBA championship. YUCK. There was a jerk wearing a Kawhi Spurs jersey in Buffalo Wild Wings Thursday, cheering every good thing the Raptors did and every bad thing the Warriors did.

First, I cannot stand Kawhi. Period. I’m not a fan of Gregg Popovich, but Kawhi was totally at fault for the stuff he pulled in San Antonio. Popovich had every right to treat Leonard the way he did, because Kawhi did it to himself. Kawhi wanted out of San Antonio so he could find a coach he could manipulate. Nick Nurse proved to be Kawhi’s stool pigeon.

Second, Drake’s antics have made me hate the Raptors. He has no business anywhere near the benches. If it were up to me, I would ban courtside seats. Yes, they bring in boatloads of money for NBA teams, but is it worth the trouble?

Third, men should never, ever wear sleeveless shirts without an undershirt in public, UNLESS they are working out. And if men are to wear sleveeless shirt while working out, they should have to shave their armpit hair, which is disgusting to begin with.

I’m getting my armpit hair laser removed, along with my chest and back. Body hair grosses me out to no end.

My father has almost no body hair. I wish I were like him, not my grandfather, who has more hair than an ape. Apparently, my sister-in-law loves body hair, because my brother is a gorilla. The only good news in my genes is my hair is light-colored, whereas my brother’s is darker, coarser and harder to remove.

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The 25th reunion of my graduating class at Brother Martin High was last Saturday in New Orleans. I didn’t go, of course, but I did donate $70, the cost of attendance, which I did not do previously.

I am friends with very few high school classmates on social media. On the other hand, I’m not wishing them any ill will, which wasn’t the case for a long time. I held a lot of resentment even after moving to Kansas, which was 12 years after my senior year of high school began. Time has a way of healing wounds. Maybe these have started to heal.

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Geez. A man has walked into Buffalo Wild Wings wearing a cowboy hat. WEARING the cowboy hat.

This is not a rodeo, sir. You should remove that hat.

I am just aggravated by men who cannot remove their hats in a restaurant. I wore hats indoors when I was younger; I stopped after visiting the Louisiana state capitol in 1992 and being politely asked by an usher in the House seating gallery to remove it. I like showing off my short hair anyway.

I made a horrible mistake many years ago of going outside without a hat in Kansas. My head was fried within two hours. I haven’t made that mistake since.

Baseball hats are a nuisance. They do not block anyone’s view. But cowoboy hats? Another story.

The public address announcer at Hill City’s gym wears a giant cowboy hat. Anyone sitting directly behind him who is not more than three rows up will have his or her view blocked.

I don’t see why people in Texas want to spend tens of thousands on a Stetson cowboy hat. Make a down payment on a car.

I used to own a ton of hats. Most of them were flooded by Katrina. The only hats I own now are a few MLB throwbacks and the ones I used to wear when I covered outdoor sporting events.

The last hat I purchased was a White Sox throwback, the one they wore from 1976-81 with the floppy-collared jerseys and navy blue or white pants. I discovered those uniforms watching Johnny Bench’s instructional show, The Baseball Bunch, in the mid-1980s.

Most people hate them, especially Chris Sale, who cut a replica up in 2016 when he was scheduled to pitch wearing them on a Turn Back The Clock night, one incident which prompted his departure from Chicago. I love them. I bought the hat as a protest of Sale’s hacking. I despise the White Sox’ uniforms, which they have worn since 1991. Black is ugly, especially for a team which hardly ever wore black before then. It also is a reminder of the White Sox’ disgusting past, namely the Black Sox.

Right now, I’m the only man not wearing a hat at the bar. One black cap, one Royals batting practice cap, the annoying cowboy hat, and a Diamondbacks batting practice hat. I swear there needs to be a hat rack in every restaurant.

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Gary Woodland, a Topeka native who played at Washburn and KU, is leading the U.S. Open at Pebble Beach by two strokes. He and Justin Rose make up today’s last pairing, teeing off at 1645 CT (1445 PT). Woodland has never won a major, while Rose won the U.S. Open in 2013 at Lower Merion near Philadelphia.

It looks like Brooks Koepka’s bid to win his third consecutive U.S. Open has ended. That doesn’t make it any less compelling.

Awesomely crepe-y

Eighteen hours ago, I had never tried the Swedish crepes from iHOP.

Now I’m craving them worse than a pregnant lady craves ice cream and pickles.

While I was on the barstool at Buffalo Wild Wings Shoal Creek last night, I decided to order pickup from iHOP in Liberty so I could have breakfast in the morning. I figured I’d put them in the fridge in the hotel room then warm them for 90 seconds in the morning.

After getting lost on my way to the restaurant, I decided I couldn’t wait until morning. I tried one.

Wow. I have a new favorite iHOP dish, and one of my favorite restaurant items anywhere, right along with any steak from Outback, the Jumbo Combo pizza from Minsky’s, the Veggie 7 pizza at Old Chicago, the brisket and corn grits at T.J. Ribs in Baton Rouge, the charbroiled oysters at Acme Oyster House in New Orleans and Baton Rouge…you get the idea.

Thank God I got two orders. Breakfast was great. Now I want to go back and get some for late tonight and tomorrow morning.

The best thing about the Swedish crepes is they are meatless, meaning I can eat them on Lenten Fridays. If I happen to go to Columbia next month, I guess I’m going there at some point.

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LSU’s basketball saga is over, at least as far as playing in the SEC tournament. The Bayou Bengals, the SEC regular season champion, lost 76-73 to Florida when the Gators, coached by New Orleans native Mike White, hit a 3-pointer with 1.2 seconds left.

LSU is a lock for the NCAA tournament, but with so much controversy surrounding Will Wade and the wiretap which revealed his willing to do anything to sign Javonte Smart, the three-time Louisiana high school player of the year from Scotlandville in north Baton Rouge, what can LSU reasonably expect?

I don’t think my alma mater will last past the first weekend. I hope I’m wrong, but I see trouble.

Kansas City is now overrun with Iowa State fans in town for the Big 12 tournament. The Cyclones play Kansas State at 1800, followed by Kansas vs. West Virginia, which finished last during the regular season but is still alive thanks to wins over Oklahoma and regular season co-champion Texas Tech.

Honestly, I only know what’s going on because I’m at Buffalo Wild Wings. If I were back in the basement in Russell, I would probably not watch.

I won’t watch the selection show Sunday. I can wait until the bracket comes out.

I usually don’t watch the NBA, but with the Bucks heading for the top seed in the East, will I have to?

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The Chiefs are big news this week with the start of the NFL’s business year. Dee Ford, Justin Houston and Eric Berry are gone. Tyrann “Honey Badger” Matthieu is in. Kansas City needs to restructure its defense, but right now, it looks like it will try to win every game 41-38 with Mahomes.

The Saints let Mark Ingram go to the Ravens via free agency. It looks like the Cardinals will draft Kyler Murray first overall after drafting Josh Rosen last year. Great idea, Arizona, to let Murray get beaten up behind an offensive line which is worse than a sieve.

The Cardinals have had a horrendous offensive line since Dan Dierdorf was in his heyday, and that’s when your intrepid blogger was in diapers. Arizona is doing this back-assward, but I can’t help it.

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Swedish crepes at iHOP. Gotta have them again.

Smokers and broken air conditioners. UGH!

The Chiefs choked it away last night. The Chargers scored 15 points in the final five minutes to stun Kansas City (aka Mahomesland) 29-28, scoring a touchdown and the game-winning 2-point conversion with four seconds remaining. I think Chargers coach Anthony Lynn was reckless by going for 2, but hey, it worked, so he’s a hero.

Last night started very well but then took a deep dive.

I went to Buffalo Wild Wings to deliver Tori her Christmas card, then stayed to play trivia. At 1900, 20 minutes prior to kickoff at Arrowhead, I went outside despite a temperature of 3 Celsius (37 F) to avoid the crowd and concentrate better on trivia. I brought two layers to wear between my base shirt and parka, so I was fine there. Head covered. Fingers a little cold, but once I started using my stylus, I could keep my gloves on.

The bad thing is Missouri’s smoking laws are far less stringent than Kansas’, so people can go out to the patio and smoke. For the first hour I was outside, the smokers were courteous enough to stay far away from me and not blow the smoke towards me.

How bad is Missouri? Many municipalities, including Cape Girardeau and several suburbs in the St. Louis area, have smoking sections in restaurants and bars. The city of St. Louis has a smoking ban, but many cities in St. Louis County don’t. St. Charles County, home to St. Charles and St. Peters, didn’t have one either until very recently, and articles in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch highlighted angry smokers pissed about it.


In case you don’t know, I DESPISE SMOKING. There are not enough adjectives in the dictionary to describe how much I hate it. I would rather a person do heroin than smoke cigarettes.I will never smoke marijuana, but it is far less addictive than nicotine, so why are cigarettes legal and marijuana isn’t in most states? Even cocaine is less addictive than nicotine. And the worst thing about tobacco smoke is it makes me choke and of course ruins one’s lungs.

I have plenty of anger towards my mother because she smoked while she was pregnant with me, and I firmly believe it caused my Autistic Spectrum Disorder. My father smoked much more than my mother until he finally quit cold turkey three days after Labor Day 1985. He has stayed off of it for 33 years. I’m convinced if he continued to smoke, he would not have made it to Y2K.

Just after 2000 (8 p.m., not the year) an employee decided to smoke right across from me. I asked the asshole to move, but he claimed since he was an employee, he could go anywhere to smoke, even if it was as annoying as hell to a patron.

If I were that person’s supervisor and a customer complained to me about this employee being discourteous by smoking right in front of the patron, I would have fired him on the spot. Yet this piece of fecal matter still is employed by Buffalo Wild Wings.

It got worse when patrons stood right next to the door or close enough to where I was sitting and blew the smoke right towards me.  I had to walk around the patio holding the tablet to play trivia to avoid them.

I got fed up and went inside despite the mass of humanity. Now I know to sit at the end of the patio closest to Interstate 29 (north end) to avoid the smoke as best as possible.

It got worse when I got back to the hotel.

The air conditioning in my room at the KCI Hilton is not working as of now. SHIT.

At least it’s December 13. If it were March 13 through October 13, I’d be pissed beyond belief. It was still too warm; I barely got any sleep, and the sleep I got was on top of the covers. I was ready to check out this morning and find a new hotel, but I will give these people a chance to fix it. If it isn’t fixed, I will demand compensation and probably never stay here again.

Oh boy. Let me get out of this hotel room Epton!

Cue Summer Roberts

If you don’t get the pop culture reference in the title, I’ll spill the beans shortly.

When nature called a few minutes ago at Buffalo Wild Wings, I dreaded entering the stall. 

I was extremely worried that the person before me had not flushed the toilet and his disgusting excretions were still on display. 

Therefore, when I entered the stall, I turned away, yet out of the corner of my eye, saw toilet paper and urine. 

Summer Roberts, Rachel Bilson’s character from The O.C., would have said it best. 

EW! 

HOW HARD IS IT TO FLUSH THE FREAKING TOILET? 

I swear, I am going to get a big sign made for Buffalo Wild Wings and affix it to the stall to flush the freaking toilet when you are done. I am tempted to use a word stronger than freaking, but I won’t, since little kids use it, and I don’t want to offend them. 

Whenever I use a toilet in a public location, I give it AT LEAST one extra flush to make sure all of my nasty is out of there. When it’s bad, I’ll do two extra flushes. 

The other thing about using the restroom which angers me is the large number of people who absolutely refuse to wash their hands. 

Howie Mandel and Tony Shalhoub, through his iconic character Adrian Monk, had the right idea. Shaking hands can be dangerous due to the lazy morons out there who can’t wash their hands after using the facilities. 

Easy rule of thumb, people.

If you touch your butt crack, WASH YOUR HANDS! Even if you touch your butt crack when covered by clothing, WASH YOUR HANDS! 

If you touch your junk, WASH YOUR HANDS! Same rule applies as the butt crack: if you touch yourself with your pants on, you’ve got to wash. 

NO EXCEPTIONS TO THE ABOVE RULES. Even if you’re in the privacy of your own home and all you’re doing is going back to bed at 2:30 a.m. 

It is not that hard to practice good manners. Sadly, too many people don’t.