Category Archives: NBA

World Champions of NOTHING

Kansas City is celebrating the “World Champion” Chiefs today with a parade and rally.

For the record, the Chiefs are not “World Champions” of anything, even if every vehicle in the parade is displaying the words “World Champions”.

The Kansas City Chiefs won Super Bowl LIV, which gives them the right to forever be called “Super Bowl LIV champions” and “2019 National Football League champions”, the same way the franchise can refer to itself as “Super Bowl IV champions” and “1969 Professional Football champions” (1969 was the last year before the AFL-NFL merger).

The Chiefs may refer to themselves as “NFL champions” without a qualifying year until they are eliminated from the 2020 playoffs (or fail to qualify). If Kansas City wins Super Bowl LV next February in Tampa, the Chiefs may continue to use NFL champions without the year.

The Patriots lost the right to call themselves NFL champions without a qualifying year when they lost to the Titans in the wild card round. New England can refer to itself as NFL champions of 2001, 2003, 2004, 2014, 2016 and 2018, but must use the qualifying years. And it cannot call itself a “world champion”, period.

No NFL (or AFL) champion has the right to call itself a “world champion”.

The NFL has never had a franchise in a country other than the United States of America. Save for a few exhibitions in the early 1960s, no NFL team has played a team from the only other major league on earth which sponsors gridiron football, the Canadian Football League.

Two of the other major North American sports leagues use “World Champions” when they should not.

The NBA has referred to the winner of its playoff tournament as “World Champions”. At least the league no longer refers to the final round of the playoffs as the “World Championship Series” as it did through 1985.

Major League Baseball has sponsored the World Series since 1903, with two exceptions (1904 and 1994). Every World Series winner I know has referred to itself as a “World Champion”, even though MLB has never had teams in countries other than the USA and Canada. North American champions is also inappropriate since no World Series winner has played a champion from Mexico, Cuba or another country.

The Associated Press expressly forbids its publications from using “World Champions” to refer to teams. It is SUPER BOWL champions, WORLD SERIES champions and NBA champions.

Baseball and basketball can easily determine a world champion the way FIFA does with the Champions League.

The National Hockey League has it right. Gary Bettman and his predecessor, John Ziegler, never refers to the winner of the Stanley Cup Finals as the “World Champions” of hockey. That team is the STANLEY CUP champion or the NHL champion.

Here’s something to keep in mind about the NHL. A team can win the Stanley Cup X number of times. However, a team cannot win Y Stanley Cups. There is only one Stanley Cup, and unlike the Vince Lombardi, Larry O’Brien and Commissioner’s trophies, a new one is not made each year.

Therefore, the Blues are attempting to win the Stanley Cup for the second time, not their second Stanley Cup. Got it?

Back to football.

There are two world champions of football. They are the French Men’s National Team and the United States Women’s National Team. France won the 2018 FIFA World Cup, and the USA won the 2019 Women’s World Cup.

Every Super Bowl ring is a FRAUD, since every one says “World Champions”.

Super Bowl, Kobe, impeachment…blah blah blah

Thank God the Super Bowl kicks off in 23 hours and 30 minutes, give or take. Enough talk about Patrick Mahomes. Enough talk about the Chiefs looking for their first Super Bowl victory in 50 years. Enough asking Len Dawson about Patrick Mahomes. If you live in Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska and parts of Iowa, Arkansas and Oklahoma, you may not realize the 49ers are in the Super Bowl as well.

The Chiefs have been the sole focus of every media outlet in Kansas and western Missouri. If you thought coverage of the Royals during their 2014 and 2015 World Series appearances was excessive, it pales in comparison to the adulation the Chiefs have received. It’s quite the opposite from the other end of Missouri, where the Rams were always a distant third to the Cardinals and Blues during their 21 seasons in St. Louis.

The 49ers are still getting less air time in San Francisco than Nancy Pelosi. People in the Bay Area have witnessed six championships since 2010, three by the Giants and three by the Warriors. Add in the success the Sharks have enjoyed despite the lack of a Stanley Cup, and the 49ers have been an afterthought most of the time since Steve Young’s retirement 20 years ago. There was the trip to Super Bowl XLVII and the crushing loss to the Seahawks in the NFC championship game the next season, but until this year, the 49ers went through their longest downturn since suffering through seven losing seasons out of eight from 1973-80.

If Kansas City wins tomorrow, people in this part of the United States will be hearing about it non-stop until the Chiefs go to training camp in July. Kansas basketball and the Royals will register, but it won’t eclipse the Chiefs.

Andy Reid might retire if the Chiefs win. I would not doubt it. It would allow Kansas City to promote Eric Bienemy and not have to worry about other teams attempting to poach him next January.

If San Francisco wins, we’ll hear about it for a few days, but it will fade. The sports fans of the Bay Area need something good this year, because the Warriors have been reduced to a D-League (sorry, G-LEAGUE) team without Steph Curry, the Sharks are stinking it up, and the Raiders have officially traded Oakland for Las Vegas.

The hype for Super Bowl LIV has been muted. That would normally be a good thing, but not this time.

It’s because almost every sports show, even some on NFL Network, have to mention Kobe.

Yes, Kobe perished last Sunday with his 13-year old daughter, six other passengers, and the foolish pilot who had no business flying a helicopter in thick fog. Sad. Very sad.

However, it happens all the time, and 99.5% of the time, the names of the people on board aren’t mentioned, and it gets all of 20 seconds on the evening news, if that.

I read on the Internet there is a petition circulating to change the NBA logo silhouette to that of Kobe, instead of Jerry West, whose silhouette has been the logo for almost 50 years.

Come on.

Do those who want to make the change realize who brought Kobe to the Lakers? JERRY WEST. Does anyone know of another NBA figure who was as great an executive as he was a player? Hello…hello…

Magic Johnson and James Worthy were both drafted #1 overall by the Lakers, thanks to shrewd trades by West to acquire the picks which helped land them.He took a chance on an unproven assistant named Pat Riley in late 1981 after firing Paul Westhead. He made the trade for Kobe and signed Shaq during the summer of 1996, and three years later convinced Phil Jackson to coach his latest collection of talent.

All 12 Lakers championships in Los Angeles were influenced by Jerry West. Now why should he be taken off the logo in favor of Kobe? Give me a good reason.

Twenty-four second shot clock violations and eight-second backcourt violations have become cool since Kobe’s death, since 24 and 8 were his jersey numbers with the Lakers. To me, that’s making a mockery of the game. Honor him, yes, but don’t do it by disrupting the normal flow of a game.

Golfers have become Kobe worshippers this weekend. Justin Thomas and Tony Finau wore Kobe jerseys during the Phoenix Open. Phil Mickelson, a legend in Phoenix thanks to winning an NCAA championship at Arizona State, smartly skipped out on the Phoenix Open and is playing in Saudi Arabia. Tiger is not playing golf this weekend, choosing to attend the Super Bowl; after all, it’s in his backyard (he lives in Florida, which doesn’t have a state income tax, while his native California has astronomical taxes, especially for rich athletes).

The third and only other thing in the news right now is the impeachment trial of Donald John Trump. No comment.

Crash kills Kobe, then crashes Wikipedia

Wikipedia has been loading ridiculously slowly over the last half hour.

Now I know why.

NBA great Kobe Bryant, who led the Lakers to five NBA championships and finished his career third on the league’s all-time scoring list in 20 seasons with the franchise, perished with four others in a helicopter crash at approximately 1000 Pacific (1200 Central) in western Los Angeles County.

When a famous person passes away, tens of thousands of Wikipedia users attempt to outdo one another by updating the deceased’s bio. The administrators should lock everyone out and be the only ones to edit Kobe’s bio, because there will certainly be vandalism.

I don’t remember Wikipedia going down like this when former President George H.W. Bush died in late 2018. Gerald Ford’s death in December 2006 was too late at night to make much of an impact, and Wikipedia was in its infancy when Ronald Reagan died in June 2004.

Bryant was pushed to fourth on the NBA career scoring list last night when LeBron passed him during the Lakers’ loss in Philadelphia, Kobe’s hometown. Kobe’s father, Joe “Jellybean” Bryant, played with Julius Erving for the 76ers on the 1977 team which lost to Bill Walton’s Trail Blazers in the NBA World Championship Series (as it was officially known prior to 1986).

I haven’t watched the NBA much since the late 1980s, and I didn’t drop everything to watch Kobe, no matter the situation. I was about to in 2001 when the Bucks were within one win of the NBA Finals, but Allen Iverson and the 76ers won the Eastern Conference, and I went about my businesss without watching the Lakers win in five.

Kobe has two numbers (8 and 24) hanging from the rafters at Staples Center, but I don’t know if he would be in the starting lineup of the five greatest Lakers. Magic, Kareem, Jerry West, George Mikan and Elgin Baylor would be the starting five, with Kobe, Chamberlain, Shaq and James Worthy on the bench.

The Lakers’ next home game is Tuesday…against the Clippers. The media coverage may be the greatest for any regular season game since Kareem broke Chamberlain’s career scoring record in 1984.

It hasn’t been a good start to 2020 for the NBA. Longtime Commissioner David Stern passed away on New Year’s Day, and the most transcendent player of the past 25 years is gone at 41.

The NFL Pro Bowl is going on right now in Orlando. Any player who does not get asked for his thoughts about Kobe should pinch himself to make sure he’s alive. And the over/under for questions about Kobe for 49ers and Chiefs players and coaches tomorrow night for the Super Bowl’s “Opening Night” is 140.

Houston, you have yet another problem

Houston called itself “Clutch City” after the Rockets won back-to-back NBA championships in 1994 (vs. the Knicks, led by Patrick Ewing) and 1995 (vs. the Magic, sweeping an Orlando team led by Shaq).

After the last three months, a more appropriate moniker for Houston is “Choke City”.

It began with the Astros. After winning a franchise record 107 games in the regular season, Houston nearly choked in the American League Division Series vs. the Rays, needing a victory in the winner-take-all Game 5 to advance to the American League Championship Series.

The Astros ousted the Yankees in six to move into the World Series for the second time in three years, where Houston would face the Washington Nationals, who were making their first World Series appearance.

Many experts expected the Astros to win the first two games at Minute Maid Park, then go to the nation’s capital and win two of three there.

Instead, Houston lost the first two games at home. The Astros rallied to win the next three in the District of Columbia to gain the series lead, only to choke it away by losing the sixth and seventh games in Texas. It became the first best-of-seven series in any of the three major sports (MLB, NBA, NHL) which use that format where the road team won every game.

Today, the Texans joined the Astros in Houston sports infamy.

Bill O’Brien’s team built a 24-0 lead early in the second quarter of an AFC divisional playoff in Kansas City.

By halftime, the Chiefs led 28-24, as Patrick Mahomes joined Doug Williams as the only quarterbacks to throw four touchdown passes in one quarter of a playoff game. Williams did it in the second quarter of Super Bowl XXII, when the Redskins turned a 10-0 deficit vs. the Broncos into a 35-10 halftime bulge. Washington won 42-10, and Williams was the game’s Most Valuable Player.

Kansas City won 51-31 and earned the right to host Tennessee in next Sunday’s AFC championship game.

Green Bay held on to defeat Seattle 28-23 in the NFC, sending the Packers to Santa Clara to face the 49ers for the other spot in Super Bowl LIV in Miami (Gardens) Feb. 2.


A team from Houston has not played in the AFC championship game since 1979, when the Oilers lost to the Steelers for the second consecutive year. Bum Phillips’ team was hurt by the officials making a bad call on a pass to Mike Renfro which was ruled incomplete but was in fact a touchdown, but it probably wouldn’t have mattered.

Even worse, Houston fans have to watch their former team play in its third AFC championship since relocating to the Volunteer State. The Titans defeated the Jaguars in 1999 before losing to the Rams in Super Bowl XXXIV, but lost to the Raiders in 2002.



Barely an hour after the game ended at ARrowhead, a Houston Chronicle columnist wrote it was time for Texans coach Bill O’Brien to leave, reminding readers of past Houston sports failures. One of them was the famous 1983 NCAA men’s basketball title game, when Jim Valvano’s underdog North Carolina State Wolfpack shocked the mighty Houston Cougars, nicknamed “Phi Slamma Jamma” , when Lorenzo Charles caught Dereck Whittenburg’s airball and slammed it through the net with no time remaining. That Houston team featured two of the NBA’s 50 Greatest Players, Clyde Drexler and (H)Akeem Olajuwon.

It wasn’t the first time a team from Kansas City stuck it to a team from Houston.

In 1993, the Oilers hosted the Chiefs in an AFC divisional game. Houston entered on an 11-game winning streak, but Kansas City, led by Joe Montana, prevailed 28-20. Following that loss, the Oilers’ fan support plummeted to subterranean depths, and after the 1996 season, they were on their way to Tennessee.

In 2015, the Astros were up 2-1 on the Royals in an American League Division Series and led Game 4 through seven innings. Kansas City rallied to win that game, won Game 5 in Kansas City, and eventually won the World Series. Houston’s 2017 World Series championship took the sting out of the 2015 setback, but the one in 2019 will be hard to forget, no matter if the Astros win another championship or not.

Despite superstars like Yao Ming, Tracy McGrady, Chris Paul and James Harden playing for the Rockets in recent years, Houston has not played for an NBA championship since 1995. The window is wide open with the Warriors in free fall, but the Rockets will be severely tested by the two Los Angeles teams in the West, and hopefully Milwaukee if they make it to the Finals.

Approximately 26 hours from now, LSU will either have completed its greatest football season ever, or one of its most disappointing. Hopefully it’s the former. However, I would feel much better about this if the opponent were wearing scarlet and gray instead of orange. Something tells me Dabo is the younger, hipper version of LSU’s former coach–the one in Tuscaloosa, not the one in Lawrence–and has a dynasty going in the the South Carolina uplands.

Dusting off the soapbox

The NFL has been naming players to an all-time team in conjunction with its 100th season.

First, this should have been saved until 2020, when it would be the 100th ANNIVERSARY of the NFL. I get sick and tired of seeing athletic teams, college and professional, celebrating seasons instead of years. Every October 13, I celebrate my birthday, and it is how many years I have LIVED, not the year of my life I’m entering. It was my 43rd birthday the most recent October 13, because I had LIVED 43 years to that point. I am now in my 44th year; I will celebrate my 44th birthday this year.

The Chiefs are an egregious violator of the rule. This season, the Chiefs claim this is their 60th season, which is stupid in and of itself, since the franchise played its first three seasons in Dallas before moving to Kansas City. The Chiefs should not celebrate a 60th ANNIVERSARY until 2023, 60 years after their first season in Kansas City.

The Saints have violated the rule time and time again. New Orleans wore a patch for its 25th SEASON in 1991, instead of waiting until 1992 to celebrate its 25th ANNIVERSARY. Same in 1996 (30 seasons) and 2016 (50 seasons). YEESH.

I can happily say the football Cardinals wore a 100th anniversary patch in 1998, not a 100 seasons patch in 1997. The baseball Cardinals got it right as well, wearing a 100 years patch in 1992. The Brewers will wear a 50th anniversary patch this season to celebrate 50 years in Wisconsin (the Brewers began life as the Seattle Pilots for the 1969 season, then went bankrupt and were awarded by a federal court to Bud Selig, who moved them to Milwaukee ONE WEEK before the 1970 season began).

Enough semantics. I’m sure you’re fast asleep by now.

Many selections to the NFL’s all-time team have angered me.

First, what the HELL is Rob Gronkowski doing on the team as one of the five tight ends, yet Ozzie Newsome is nowhere to be found?

I was very unhappy Newsome chose to accompany Art Modell’s Cleveland Browns to Baltimore and staying with the Ravens after the Browns were re-established. It would have only been right had Newsome come back to the city which made him a household name to professional football fans.

On the other hand, Newsome was without peer during his 13 seasons (1978-90) in Cleveland. The man was simply sensational. He was a big reason the Browns won the AFC Central over the Steelers and Oilers in 1980 and a bigger reason Brian Sipe won that season’s Most Valuable Player award.

Gronkowski was stellar in New England, but come on. A lot of it is recency bias AND Belichick being on the selection panel.

I have no problem with the other tight ends on the list: John Mackey, Mike Ditka, Kellen Winslow and Tony Gonzalez. But to omit Newsome? Please.

The rest of the offensive line had me scratching my head a little.

Where was Jerry Kramer? For those who don’t know, he was one of the men who made the Green Bay sweep the most feared play in the NFL during Vince Lombardi’s coaching tenure with the Packers. The sight of #64 and teammates Fuzzy Thurston (#63) and later Gale Gillingham (#68) scared the bejesus out of many a linebacker and safety in the 1960s. Was it a coincidence Paul Hornung scored 176 points in 12 games in 1960? Not with that offensive line. Same with Jimmy Taylor winning the 1962 rushing championship, the only season Jim Brown did not win it during his nine-season NFL career.

Larry Allen, who played on Dallas’ most recent Super Bowl team in 1995, is a poor choice. Allen is worthy of his bust in Canton. However, I cannot imagine voting for him over Kramer.

John Hannah? Great choice. Gene Upshaw? Ditto. Bruce Matthews? He was a Pro Bowl selection at every spot along the offensive line, although I may have had him at tackle and not guard. But Allen over Kramer sticks out like a sore thumb.

Two of the offensive tackles, Walter Jones and Jonathan Ogden, demonstrate recency bias. They are Hall of Fame worthy, sure. But all-time worthy? Not buying it. However, I have less problem with either of those two than Gronk over Newsome.

At center, Jim Ringo should be there and not Dwight Stephenson. Stephenson was a Hall of Famer with the Dolphins in the 1980s, but he didn’t win any championships. Ringo did.

The NFL’s all-time team has some of my least favorite athletes: Gronk, Ray Lewis, Tom Brady, and the double murderer who used to play for the Bills. YEESH.

Former NBA Commissioner David Stern passed away yesterday after suffering a brain hemorrhage two weeks ago.

It’s sad to see anyone pass away, but I hated Stern as NBA Commissioner. HATED HIM. Let me count some of the ways:

–He screwed Kansas City by openly helping the Kings’ ownership move to Sacramento in 1985, even though the Kings were flagrantly invading the Warriors’ territory in northern California and were moving into a converted warehouse for three seasons before the taxpayers of California were fleeced to build a new arena.

–I believe Stern fixed the first NBA draft lottery in 1985 in order for the Knicks to draft Patrick Ewing. He made sure the envelope containing the Knicks’ logo was bent so could easily find it.

—Stern flagrantly favored the big markets in most cases. If it were up to him, New York would have five teams, Los Angeles four, Chicago three and places like Milwaukee, San Antonio and Utah would not have a team.

–He made sure the Pelicans (then the Hornets) couldn’t leave New Orleans, one of the smallest markets in pro sports. The team had terrible attendance prior to Hurricane Katrina, and when the Hornets played in Oklahoma City temporarily for two seasons, the attendance far surpassed that in the Big Easy.

–Stern also worshipped small-market Sacramento. He prevented the Kings from moving to Seattle despite the team losing money, and he forced the taxpayers of California to foot the bill for yet another arena. I wouldn’t be surprised if California Governor Gavin Newsom would order a bronze statue of Stern be placed outside the Kings’ arena. David Stern is THE reason the NBA is still in the crap hole known as Sacramento.

Goodbye David Stern. You’re a big reason I can’t stand the NBA 99% of the time.

I realized this morning how bad 2020 is going to be. The presidential election is November 3.

Trump is a slimy SOB who has done thousands of unethical things in the White House, but he’s just like every other man who has occupied 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. EVERY president has a few (hundred) skeletons in his closet, except William Henry Harrison, who didn’t serve long enough to accumulate skeletons.

That said, the Democrats are using impeachment as a vehicle to vent their frustration over losing the 2016 election. Look in the mirror, Democrats. You nominated the only person on earth short of Lucifer himself Donald Trump could beat in an election, and maybe even Lucifer would have been more successful than Hillary Rodham Clinton.

This is going to occur every time the party not in power is angry. I’m certain the Democrats will launch a new impeachment inquiry if Trump is re-elected, or the Republicans will do so to the Democratic president if they win control of the House. It will never end.

And you thought partisanship was nasty during the presidencies of LBJ and Nixon. Those two are probably screaming from the grave.

I’m in Kansas City for the first time in over two months. My dad is undergoing a heart procedure at KU Medical Center in KCK tomorrow. I agreed to drive my parents, and they in turn are paying for most of my expenses. Can’t beat that.

The Chiefs are off this weekend, so it will be quiet. That’s good. I wouldn’t want to be here for the playoff game January 12. Probably going to be ear-splitting in every sports bar in the area.

A middle of June mashup

I felt guilty yesterday, and it lightened my wallet a slight bit.

Two ladies who teach at a middle school in Liberty met for drinks. I felt like I was eavesdropping on their conversation. I buried my face in my hands a couple of times.

I thought it was happening again. I had it going through my mind I was “hovering” and making women uncomfortable in a Buffalo Wild Wings.

Very few people have told me outright I’m hovering and making them uncomfortable, but Lord knows how often I’ve thought it.

One of the teachers got there a little after two. She was waiting for her colleague, and ended up waiting more than an hour. She was on her phone quite a bit. We made a little small talk, but once her colleague arrived, I felt uneasy sitting there, despite being engrossed in trivia.

The lovely ladies, Joanne and Heather, told me everything was okay and I wasn’t eavesdropping. Crista has told me more than a few (thousand) times I read too much into situations. I’m sure I’ll tell Crista all about it when I see her on 27 June.

Joanne was the one who arrived early. She asked me if she could help me with anything. Fortunately, she didn’t have to.

I told Tina to put their drinks on my bill. She kept the secret until Heather was ready to pay. Heather was going to pay for a couple of Joanne’s drinks due to being late, but then Tina said their bill had been taken care of.

I shouldn’t be so surprised. There was Kelsey, the young lady in the Army from New Hampshire who stopped in at Zona Rosa on her way to St. Louis in December. I would give anything to hear from her. But I know she’s got much more important things to worry about.

December 27, 2015 still pops into the mind from time to time. It was the infamous Sunday when two strangers began kissing and groping one another while sitting next to me. Luckily Robb and Dawn showed up to provide me company.

Speaking of Zona Rosa, their Buzztime system has been down since Mother’s Day. No sense in going there. Also, most of the employees I knew are gone. Tori, Trey and Morgan are there amongst the veterans, but Liz, Lisa and all the rest are gone.

The atmosphere at Shoal Creek is better. The decor is nice, the lightning isn’t too harsh, and it isn’t as loud as Zona gets. Between all the kids and the hip-hop often blaring from the jukebox, it gets unbearable.

Between Joanne and Heather, Larry, Jeff Lagrande and trivia, yesterday was pretty darn good. I didn’t leave until 2030. I have to leave Kansas City tomorrow before 0730 to make sure I’m back in Russell by 1200. I might have dawdled around town Sunday and then driven home late, but my mother is cooking eggplant parmigana.

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The Raptors won the NBA championship. YUCK. There was a jerk wearing a Kawhi Spurs jersey in Buffalo Wild Wings Thursday, cheering every good thing the Raptors did and every bad thing the Warriors did.

First, I cannot stand Kawhi. Period. I’m not a fan of Gregg Popovich, but Kawhi was totally at fault for the stuff he pulled in San Antonio. Popovich had every right to treat Leonard the way he did, because Kawhi did it to himself. Kawhi wanted out of San Antonio so he could find a coach he could manipulate. Nick Nurse proved to be Kawhi’s stool pigeon.

Second, Drake’s antics have made me hate the Raptors. He has no business anywhere near the benches. If it were up to me, I would ban courtside seats. Yes, they bring in boatloads of money for NBA teams, but is it worth the trouble?

Third, men should never, ever wear sleeveless shirts without an undershirt in public, UNLESS they are working out. And if men are to wear sleveeless shirt while working out, they should have to shave their armpit hair, which is disgusting to begin with.

I’m getting my armpit hair laser removed, along with my chest and back. Body hair grosses me out to no end.

My father has almost no body hair. I wish I were like him, not my grandfather, who has more hair than an ape. Apparently, my sister-in-law loves body hair, because my brother is a gorilla. The only good news in my genes is my hair is light-colored, whereas my brother’s is darker, coarser and harder to remove.

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The 25th reunion of my graduating class at Brother Martin High was last Saturday in New Orleans. I didn’t go, of course, but I did donate $70, the cost of attendance, which I did not do previously.

I am friends with very few high school classmates on social media. On the other hand, I’m not wishing them any ill will, which wasn’t the case for a long time. I held a lot of resentment even after moving to Kansas, which was 12 years after my senior year of high school began. Time has a way of healing wounds. Maybe these have started to heal.

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Geez. A man has walked into Buffalo Wild Wings wearing a cowboy hat. WEARING the cowboy hat.

This is not a rodeo, sir. You should remove that hat.

I am just aggravated by men who cannot remove their hats in a restaurant. I wore hats indoors when I was younger; I stopped after visiting the Louisiana state capitol in 1992 and being politely asked by an usher in the House seating gallery to remove it. I like showing off my short hair anyway.

I made a horrible mistake many years ago of going outside without a hat in Kansas. My head was fried within two hours. I haven’t made that mistake since.

Baseball hats are a nuisance. They do not block anyone’s view. But cowoboy hats? Another story.

The public address announcer at Hill City’s gym wears a giant cowboy hat. Anyone sitting directly behind him who is not more than three rows up will have his or her view blocked.

I don’t see why people in Texas want to spend tens of thousands on a Stetson cowboy hat. Make a down payment on a car.

I used to own a ton of hats. Most of them were flooded by Katrina. The only hats I own now are a few MLB throwbacks and the ones I used to wear when I covered outdoor sporting events.

The last hat I purchased was a White Sox throwback, the one they wore from 1976-81 with the floppy-collared jerseys and navy blue or white pants. I discovered those uniforms watching Johnny Bench’s instructional show, The Baseball Bunch, in the mid-1980s.

Most people hate them, especially Chris Sale, who cut a replica up in 2016 when he was scheduled to pitch wearing them on a Turn Back The Clock night, one incident which prompted his departure from Chicago. I love them. I bought the hat as a protest of Sale’s hacking. I despise the White Sox’ uniforms, which they have worn since 1991. Black is ugly, especially for a team which hardly ever wore black before then. It also is a reminder of the White Sox’ disgusting past, namely the Black Sox.

Right now, I’m the only man not wearing a hat at the bar. One black cap, one Royals batting practice cap, the annoying cowboy hat, and a Diamondbacks batting practice hat. I swear there needs to be a hat rack in every restaurant.

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Gary Woodland, a Topeka native who played at Washburn and KU, is leading the U.S. Open at Pebble Beach by two strokes. He and Justin Rose make up today’s last pairing, teeing off at 1645 CT (1445 PT). Woodland has never won a major, while Rose won the U.S. Open in 2013 at Lower Merion near Philadelphia.

It looks like Brooks Koepka’s bid to win his third consecutive U.S. Open has ended. That doesn’t make it any less compelling.

Ending yet another period of extended inactivity

My week-long excursion to the Show-Me State ended just before noon yesterday when I crossed the state line on Interstate 670.

It was a very good trip. My Friday visit to Buffalo Wild Wings was shortened by the heavy rain which arrived 10 minutes before I returned to my hotel. I made the best of it, wolfing down a pint of Ben and Jerry’s which featured a flavor designed by Tonight show host Jimmy Fallon. Late Show host Stephen Colbert also has his own flavor, and I ate that Saturday morning.

It was a good thing I left B-Dubs earlier Friday than planned. I got only four hours of sleep the previous night, and I slept late Saturday, not leaving the hotel until after noon.

I saw Larry three straight days, a first. We played for an hour Thursday before my appointment to continue my laser hair removal, then four more hours Friday, the longest he’s stayed at one time. He had vacation last Friday, and he decided to spend it at Buffalo Wild Wings. Interesting. His daughter is coming to Kansas City this weekend after being overseas with veterinary school.

I was surprised to see him come in Saturday just after 1800. I thought I might be heading to Minsky’s on Barry Road since I hadn’t been there since late January, but he walked in with his longtime girlfriend, Terri. Tina told me how surprising it was to see him on a Saturday. So I stayed until 2030 then went back to the hotel. That was it for trivia on the trip.

Sunday I woke up late again. By time I finally got my act together, I decided I’d spend the rest of the day working, except a break to drive to Overland Park and get Outback to go for the first time since I was in Wichita in early March. A huge bone-in ribeye and two salads were a welcome change from buffalo wings and Taco Bell, as much as I love both places.

Columbia was fine. Couldn’t get my hotel problem from the LSU-Mizzou weekend straightened out, but I did enjoy my White Castle. Immensely. The brisket sliders were good. I also had my old go-to, the double beef slider with cheddar, quite a bit.

Yesterday was a bit hairy. I had my work for Russell County News done early, so I departed Columbia at 0900, needing to make it to Hays in time to pick up medicine. We did not have a picture of Renee Nichol, the young lady from Russell High who won the Class 3A girls state long jump championship last Saturday. Amy Hoss, who does a great job keeping things together, stayed in touch with me trying to find a photo.

I stopped for gas at Oak Grove and a quick grocery shopping excursion at Grain Valley, both in eastern Jackson County, over 20 miles from Kansas City. I didn’t find out Amy had found a photo until I had passed Abilene, which meant I had to haul my butt to Salina as quickly as possible and find a place to stop, plug in my computer, and get the changes done.

Good thing I needed to stop. I went from Grain Valley past Kansas City, Missouri; Kansas City, Kansas; Lawrence; Topeka; Junction City; and Abilene without stopping. I was fighting fatigue. Bad. I breathed a sigh of relief when I hit the Ohio Street exit in Salina.

The Taco Bell at the corner of Ohio and Iron did just fine. Found an outlet, got it done, and I was in Hays just after 1600.

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I stink at trivia these days. Really stink. I had a terrible game of SIX last night. Terrible. And the Thursday night TV trivia game showed just how uninformed I am.

I must be a complete weirdo. I knew nothing about Seinfeld and Cheers. I have never watched Game of Thrones. I have never watched an Avengers movie. I have never watched any of the reality shows my parents are hooked on. I won’t watch American Idol or other singing shows.

Frankly, I hated Seinfeld. Period. I hated seeing that douchebag in commercials. Whenever reruns air on TBS, I change the channel.

I never watched Friends. Never watched The Cosby Show, which is a good thing given the depraved nature of its star.

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The St. Louis Blues won a Stanley Cup Finals game last night. Carl Gunnarsson’s overtime goal gave the Blues a 3-2 win and knotted the series at one game apiece. The series now shifts to Missouri for game three Saturday and game four Monday. Boston will host game five a week from tonight.

The Blues were 0-13 in finals games, including a 4-2 loss Monday in the series opener. They were swept in 1968 and ’69 by the Canadiens and in ’70 by the Bruins.

Those finals appearances need to be denoted with a huge asterisk. When the Blues and five other expansion teams came into the NHL in 1967, league president Clarence Campbell prevailed upon the Board of Governors to keep the “Original Six” (Bruins, Canadiens, Red Wings, Rangers, Maple Leafs, Black Hawks) in one division, and put the new teams (Blues, Kings, North Stars, Penguins, Flyers, Seals) in the other, meaning one of the new teams was guaranteed a spot in the final.

When St. Louis stunk it up in the finals for three consecutive years. Campbell finally got smart and at least put Chicago in the West and cross-bracketed the playoff semifinals, meaning an expansion team was not guaranteed a spot in the finals. The next three finals matched Original Six teams before the Flyers won back-to-back Cups in 1974 and ’75.

St. Louis’ win means the Maple Leafs now have gone the longest time without a win in the Stanley Cup finals, last prevailing when it clinched the 1967 championship in the sixth game at home vs. Montreal. The Panthers are now the only team to reach a final and never win a game, getting swept in 1996 by the Avalanche, who were in their first season in Denver after moving from Quebec City. Of course, that pissed me off more than anything. Denver should have a team, but did it have to be the Nordiques?

I’m happy for Larry that the Blues won. However, the Blues still playing reminds me of how bad I’ve screwed up with Lisa and just about everyone else I’ve known. Why do I bother? I have to muster all the courage I can to not cry and/or go off the deep end.

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The Bucks choked. They gagged. They blew it.

Milwaukee had a 2-0 lead in the NBA Eastern Conference finals, then proceeded to lose the next four to the friggin Raptors and that piece of fecal matter, Kawhi Leonard. The Bucks led by 15 late in the third quarter of game six, only to see Toronto go on a 26-3 run and put it away.

I don’t like the Warriors, but I hope they sweep the Raptors. One, because I can’t stand Kawhi; two, because I flat out DESPISE Drake, the Raptors’ most famous fan; and three, I am sick and tired of the NBA and I want it to be over.

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LSU is hosting an NCAA baseball regional starting tomorrow. As badly as I want to go back to Baton Rouge, I have no desire to go back right now when it’s so humid you can cut the air with a knife. It’s hot enough in Kansas without the excess humidity.

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The power sockets in my car stopped working today. Crap. Going to have to take it to James Motors in Hays Monday to get it worked on. I also need to get it washed because bugs keep doing suicide missions on my bumper and windshield. I need to drive down to Wichita, but that long drive without my iPod is not appetizing. SiriusXM will have to do.

Buffalo Wild Wings in Salina? I don’t know. That gigantic douchebag Edwin is working tomorrow night. I hate Edwin with every fiber of my being. I have never said that about anyone working in a restaurant, but I hate Edwin. He is a gigantic tool who probably has antisocial personality disorder. There are a couple of others at that place who need serious mental evaluations, because they are not people I would want to be around if I had my druthers. ##########################################################################

Tuesday will be a Sunshine Day. I’ll reveal more later.

Zion Williamson, sore loser

The New Orleans Pelicans won the first overall pick for the upcoming NBA Draft last night in the lottery.

I was very happy on two fronts.

First, I’m happy for the team playing in my native city.

I’ve been a Bucks fan since I was old enough to follow the NBA. The Jazz left the Crescent City four months before my third birthday, so I have no memories of Pistol Pete playing in the Superdome when the games actually happened. I thought the NBA was certifiably insane to let the Hornets relocate from Charlotte to New Orleans in 2002, because New Orleans, I felt, didn’t have the population nor the wealthy fans to support a team playing 41 home games per season. The Saints have enjoyed rabid support since their first season of 1967, but the Saints play only 10 home games (eight home games and two exhibitions which are nothing more than scrimmages under game conditions) a year. Prime seats for NBA games cost at least $300 per contest. Multiply that by 41 and you get the picture.

There was a time I believed the only reason New Orleans still had an NBA team was because David Stern felt sorry for the city after Hurricane Katrina. I believed for many years the NBA should have let the Hornets stay in Oklahoma City, where they played most of their games during the 2005-06 and 2006-07 seasons, which would have allowed the SuperSonics to stay in Seattle. But Stern (a) loved New Orleans and (b) loved Clay Bennett, who bought the Sonics and moved them to Sooner country in 2008.

However, I simply cannot ignore the place where I grew up and the state in which I lived the first 29 years of my life. I want the Pelicans to do well. I want them to win 80 of 82 games every season–the other two is when they play the Bucks.

The Pelicans were given the giant middle finger by Anthony “Unibrow” Davis when he demanded a trade to ONLY the Lakers or Knicks in January. Gayle Benson didn’t budge, and the Unibrow had to spend the rest of his season in the Crescent City, where he dragged down the Pelicans to a 33-49 record.

Benson was right to hold on to Davis. She cannot let the Pelicans get brutally robbed the way the Bucks were in 1975 when Kareem Abdul-Jabbar forced his way out of Milwaukee with a trade to the Lakers, who sent the Bucks a bunch of nothing.

The Bucks weren’t the only NBA team the Lakers robbed blind in the ’70s; the Jazz gave away a first round draft pick for over-the-hill Gail Goodrich. That pick became the number one overall pick in 1979. The Lakers used it to draft some fellow named Earvin Johnson from Michigan State. The Jazz could have had Magic. Enough said.

New Orleans has some very interesting paths to take with the first overall pick. It could draft Zion and trade Davis for the king’s ransom he should bring in return; the Pelicans could trade the pick AND Davis and begin a massive rebuild similar to that the 76ers undertook at the beginning of the decade; it could draft Zion and then attempt to re-sign Davis, hoping to build a new Big Three with Zion, Davis and Jrue Holliday; or it could draft Zion and shop him to the highest bidder if it cannot resign Unibrow.

David Griffin, the Pelicans’ new Executive Vice President and General Manager, is the envy of his 29 counterparts across the NBA.

The other great thing about the Pelicans winning the lottery: THE KNICKS DIDN’T.

Few teams in all of professional sports infuriate me more than the Knicks. Never have liked that franchise. Hated it when David Stern rigged the first lottery in 1985 to allow the Knicks to take Patrick Ewing, then Ewing saying he would never have signed with the Pacers had they won the lottery that year. Hated it when former Knick great Bill Bradley preached socialism during his political career as a U.S. Senator from New Jersey and later as a failed presidential candidate.

I have really despised the Knicks for (a) hiring Isiah Thomas, a total douchebag on the court and an even worse piece of fecal matter off of it; and (b) having James Dolan as an owner.

To say Dolan is a douchebag would be saying Hurricane Katrina was just a little rain and wind storm. Dolan brings a new definition to the word “douchebag”. Between Dolan and Thomas, the Knicks should be sponsored by Summer’s Eve and Massengale.

Why Zion badly wanted to play for these supreme dickheads is beyond me, but he felt he would make upwards of $250 million in endorsements in the Big Apple.

When the Knicks didn’t win the lottery, Zion stormed out of the Chicago hotel where it was being held and presumably went back to his hotel to sulk to Coach K and his agent.

A trade to the Knicks isn’t happening. That team is so messed up it doesn’t have enough to offer the Pelicans. So Zion better accept he isn’t going to Knicks for awhile.

If Zion doesn’t want to play for the Pelicans, let him go to Europe. He wouldn’t be the first crybaby to demand a particular team not draft him.

One of the first known instances of this happened 50 years ago.

Orenthal James Simpson was so coveted coming out of USC that Philadelphia Eagles fans rioted in the stands at Franklin Field when the Eagles defeated the Saints in a December game, because it allowed the Bills to move ahead of Philadelphia for the first pick in the upcoming draft.

Simpson didn’t want to go to Buffalo. He hated the cold. He hated the East Coast. He wanted to be in a major media market. But the Rams, who shared the Coliseum with USC, weren’t going to sniff him unless they traded the Bills Roman Gabriel, Merlin Olsen, Deacon Jones and Tom Mack, and even then, the Bills may have said no.

Buffalo drafted Simpson. He held out as long as he could, but finally signed.

The Bills had it happen twice more to them within five years.

In 1979, they drafted Tom Cousineau out of Ohio State first overall after Cousineau said he had no desire to play for them. Cousineau went to Canada for three seasons before returning to the NFL and signing with his hometown team, the Browns.

Four years later, Jim Kelly refused to sign with the Bills after he was drafted 13th overall out of Miami. He played in the USFL for two seasons in Houston before coming to Buffalo when the USFL was awarded $1 in its 1986 antitrust case against the NFL.

The NHL’s poster child for draft shenanigans is Eric Lindros, who steadfastly refused to play for the Nordiques after Quebec drafted him first overall in 1991. He held out for the entire 1991-92 season before the Nordiques traded him to the Flyers for numerous players and picks.

In 1990, Todd Van Poppel was a hotshot high school pitcher in Texas. He told the Braves not to draft him, because if they did, he would attend the University of Texas. Atlanta honored his wishes and drafted this Chipper Jones guy. Van Poppel was drafted 12th overall by the Athletics, the 1989 World Series champion, and chose Oakland over Austin. I think the Braves won that won. Big time.

Professional sports drafts go against the American ideal of freedom of choice, but if they didn’t exist, players would simply sign with the highest bidder. In MLB, that would create gross competitive imbalance, because the Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs and Dodgers would simply outbid the likes of the Astros, Cardinals and Brewers for the top shelf talent. The Yankees did it so well for so long that MLB finally instituted the draft in 1965. Once it began, the Yankees fell into a nosedive which didn’t end until 1976.

Nobody should feel sorry for a crybaby 19-year old who didn’t get his way and can’t play for the team he wants, at least at first. If Zion loves New York that bad, he can get a job in the Big Apple I’m sure, one which will pay less in a year than he would make in a single game playing in New Orleans.

Everyone has a price. Zion will eventually wise up. It’s all about the $$$$.

Not jamming with jalapenos, plus the dread of a Sharks-Hurricanes Stanley Cup fina

What is America’s obsession with jalapeño flavored stuff? I understand japalenos on Mexican dishes–even though I don’t like japalenos on my nachos, tacos or enchiladas–and jalapeño poppers at fast food and fast casual restaurants such as Sonic and Buffalo Wild Wings, but it has gone overboard.

Case in point: jalapeño flavored M&Ms.

Just the thought of it makes me want to throw up.

Since when do chocolate and jalapeño go together?

M&Ms has come out with three new flavors, and stores across the country, including Kansas City, Salina and Hays, have large displays featuring them.

English toffee is delicious. I bought a bag at the grocery store in Hays a few minutes ago. Heath and 5th Avenue, both of which feature toffee, are among my favorite chocolate bars. Heath pieces used to be the only kind of candy I would get in a Dairy Queen Blizzard, although I’ve expanded my tastes to include many other flavors.

Thai Coconut? Mixed emotions. If it were just coconut, I would dive right in, because Mounds, which is dark chocolate and coconut, is another of my favorite candy bars. But the “Thai” part concerns me. I can eat the Thai curry wings at Buffalo Wild Wings, but many times, Thai is very hot. I’ll pass unless someone else offers them to me.

Jalapeño? Don’t get me started.

No. No way. I’m not touching that one with a four-meter pole.

My mother might like jalapeno M&Ms. She is a sucker for anything jalapeno. My father, however, has much more sense and avoids jalapenos on anything except nachos at a restaurant.

The craze to put out jalapeno flavored anything is similar to the sriracha craze of five years ago. Buffalo Wild Wings had a sriracha-flavored sauce out for a limited time in 2014, and I told Liz or Lisa or whomever was taking care of me to make sure I didn’t get stupid and order it. I didn’t.

I flat refuse to order anything with sriracha or jalapeno. I also will not touch the mango habanero sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings. I tried it once six years ago and swore NEVER AGAIN. I also tried the hottest sauce at BWW in 2008, and I said NEVER AGAIN. I can take heat, but not ridiculous amounts.

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The NHL is down to its last four teams in quest of the Stanley Cup.

I said after the first round I was hoping for a Bruins-Blues final. That is still a possibility.

Boston plays Carolina in the East and St. Louis faces San Jose in the West, with the winners matching up for the most treasured prize in North American professional sports.

I’d like to see the Blues reach the finals for the first time since 1970 for my two friends who love the Blues, Larry and Lisa. I’m not a fan of Boston’s sports teams, but I can tolerate the Bruins much more than most NHL teams, since they are an Original Six team.

San Jose? The Sharks are the reason why the Minnesota North Stars left for Dallas, so I have a natural disgust for them.

The Gund brothers became majority owners of the North Stars in 1978 after their franchise, the Cleveland Barons, were forced to merge with the North Stars by then-NHL president John Ziegler, since both were teetering on the verge of bankruptcy. Ziegler was unwilling to abandon Minnesota, the most hockey-mad state in America, and frankly, neither were the NHL’s Board of Governors. After all, the North Stars were still drawing strong despite some very bad teams in the 1970s, while the Barons couldn’t draw flies during two seasons in northeast Ohio.

Now how does this tie into the Bay Area? The Barons originally began life as the Oakland Seals during the 1967 expansion which brought the North Stars, Blues, Penguins, Flyers and Kings into the NHL as well. The Seals were mismanaged throughout their nine seasons in northern California, at one point falling under the ownership of gigantic douchebag Charles O. Finley, the same many who screwed Kansas City royally by turning the Athletics into a clown show before moving them to Oakland after the 1967 season.

The Gunds became majority owners of the merged North Stars-Barons franchise, and by the late 1980s, they were itching to get out of the Twin Cities.

They did so by selling the North Stars to another turd, Norman Green, and Ziegler and Board of Governors granted the Gunds an expansion team, the Sharks, which played their first two seasons at the Cow Palace in the San Francisco suburb of Daly City before what is known colloquially as the “Shark Tank” opened in 1993. (Ironically, many in San Jose are scared the Sharks will move to San Francisco when the new arena built for the Warriors opens later this year, but that’s not likely).

Green was disillusioned by the North Stars’ home, the Met Center in suburban Bloomington, a stone’s throw from the former home of the Twins and Vikings, Metorpolian Stadium, which was vacated in 1981 and torn down in 1985 to make way for the Mall of America.

Of course, Green did what any piece of feces owner does, he begged the taxpayers of Minnesota to build him a new arena. When the people of Minnesota said no, he took the franchise to that noted hockey hotbed, Dallas, which was desperate to have a winning franchise, since the Mavericks were the worst team in the NBA at that time, several years before sugar daddy Mark Cuban cam on the scene

The same stubbornness of Minnesota voters nearly cost the state its other three franchises.

The Timberwolves were all set to move to New Orleans in 1994 before David Stern blocked the deal due to the shady finances of the ownership group who wanted to move the franchise from the headwaters of the Mississippi River to its mouth. The Minnesota legislature approved major improvements to the Target Center, and the Timberwolves have never threatened to leave Minnesota since.

The Twins were all but set to be contracted by Bud Selig following the 2001 season. Carl Pohlad, who owned the franchise at the time, was all but willing to give up and take the money. But the state said no, and courts within the state blocked MLB from contracting any team. The voters of Minnesota were chastened, and in 2010, Target Field opened.

The Vikings were all but gone to Los Angeles in the middle of the 2000s. Even though the Metrodome was built for them, not the Twins, they complained long and loud once Target Field opened, and the carping became worse after the Metrodome’s roof collapsed in December 2010, forcing the Vikings to move two home games (one to Detroit, one to the University of Minnesota). The Vikings got their new stadium three years ago, and it has already hosted Super Bowl LII and the 2019 Final Four.

I’m not a fan of California hockey. On the other hand, I can understand why the NHL wants to be in the Bay Area, given its population and disposable income. Plus, the Kings needed an in-state rival, although the Ducks came along two years later and gave the Kings one much, much closer to home.

As for the Hurricanes, I hate that the Hartford Whalers, who had the second best logo in all of professional sports (behind the Milwaukee Brewers’ “ball-in-glove’) left for a place which knew absolutely zilch about hockey, a place where it is impossible to play hockey outdoors (except in the winter in the far western part of North Carolina which is colder due to the higher elevation of the Appalachians), a place where anyone who isn’t following basketball during the winter is, frankly, out to lunch.

Fred Demarest, someone I knew from LSU and someone I like a lot, is an associate athletic director at North Carolina State. He has ditched the Devils, the team he grew up following in New Jersey and at William Paterson College, for the Hurricanes. I’ve had to chide him about this. I can understand him wanting to support the team which plays in the place he lives, but the HURRICANES? The slimy Hurricanes, who left Hartford despite strong support?

I do not believe hockey belongs in the south. NO. St. Louis and Washington is as far south as it should extend. I don’t care if Dallas/Fort Worth has 10 million people in the area. NO. And why does it belong in Raleigh, where Duke and North Carolina are king and always will be?

I was nauseous when Dallas won the Stanley Cup in Buffalo in 1999 on a goal which shouldn’t have counted. I was apoplectic when Tampa Bay won the Cup in 2004, and again when Carolina won it in 2006.

If it’s San Jose and Carolina in the finals, I will really be sick to my stomach. Boston and San Jose? GO BRUINS. St. Louis vs. either Eastern team? GO BLUES.

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I was scared the Bucks were going to choke it away after losing to Boston by 22 points on their home floor almost two weeks ago.

Milwaukee hasn’t lost since, and now it is in the Eastern Conference finals for the first time since 2001, and only the third time since last reaching the NBA Finals in 1974.

Rest in peace, John Havlicek, I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you play when you were doing your thing with the Celtics.

The Bucks, who won 116-91 last night to clinch the series vs. Boston in five, plays either Toronto or Philadelphia in the next round. Milwaukee has a bad history in the playoffs against the 76ers, but in many of the previous series between the clubs, the Bucks were the underdog.

My good friend Bill Franques and I are huge Bucks fans. He remembered the 1974 finals, in which the Bucks won Game 6 in double overtime in the Boston Garden on a skyhook by Kareem in the closing seconds, only to lose 102-87 in Game 7 at Milwaukee. That left Bill with a strong antipathy for the Celtics. I don’t have such an antipathy for the Celtics, but I badly wanted the Bucks to win this series.

Just had a Boston Celtics trivia question at Golden Q. It regarded Moses Malone and his stupid comment during the 1981 Finals, which he said after the Rockets won Game 4 91-86 that he could get four guys off the street from his hometown of Petersburg, Virginia and beat the Celtics.

Alrighty then. The Rockets weren’t going to beat Bird, Tiny Archibald and Robert Parish with the team they had, which was Malone, ancient Calvin Murphy and Rudy Tomjanovich, spare parts (Mike Dunleavy, Billy Paultz, Tom Henderson), a servicable player who would never emerge into stardom (Robert Reid), so what made him think lesser men could do it?

Five years later, the Rockets had a better team, led by Ralph Sampson and Hakeem (then Akeem) Olajuwon. But the Celtics were far better; they still had Bird and Parish, but Kevin McHale had emerged into a star, and Bill Walton enjoyed his best season since leading Portland to the 1977 championship. It would take a few years and more favorable matchups before the Rockets won titles in 1994 (the year NBC idiotically cut away from coverage of Game 5 of the NBA Finals except in Houston and New York to show a washed up football player fleeing from the authorities on the freeways of Los Angeles) and ’95.

Less than two years later, Malone was in Philadelphia, and two years after his ill-timed comment, he, Dr. J, Maurice Cheeks and Andrew Toney steamrolled the Knicks, Bucks and Lakers as the 76ers won their first NBA Title since coach Billy Cunningham played for the team in 1967, so it all worked out for Moses. Rest in peace, big guy.

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The Brewers have won five in a row. Life is good in Wisconsin. Will the Packers oblige? Still have four months to find out.

Sorry for yet another novella. I do that sometimes. No, make that more than sometimes.

A few random topics on a Wednesday evening

My humdrum life in western Kansas resumed at 1100 Sunday. The Seroquel I took to h help me sleep Saturday had me groggy. I was fading fast. I wanted to get home in time for lunch because my mother was cooking salmon and asparagus, two of my favorite foods. Plus, I had been eating nothing but White Castle, Taco Bell and Buffalo Wild Wings for 10 days, save for a Blizzard at Dairy Queen in Columbia when I met Bill for lunch on the first day there and a couple of hot dogs from QuikTrip. A home-cooked meal did me some good.

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Yesterday (April 23) was the 34th anniversary of the introduction of New Coke. Coke had been building up to the rollout of a new formula for three months, with Bill Cosby stating in commercials that New Coke would taste just as good as the original.

I recall New Coke being pretty good. I couldn’t tell the difference. I was unaffected by Coca-Cola bringing back the “Classic” formula three months after rolling out New Coke, because I would drink anything. Whenever I saw New Coke in stores for the next few years, I’d buy it over the Classic formula, although sightings of New Coke in metro New Orleans were few and far between.

What was funny was my father was drinking Pepsi during this period, and my brother and I were drinking Coke. Looking back on it, seems silly now. I don’t have a preference for Pepsi or Coke. I usually buy whatever is cheaper, although the Pepsi 2-liter bottles fit in the door of the refrigerator in my garage, while the taller Coke 2-liters do not. Heck, I think Kroger’s imitation of Coke Zero Sugar and Pepsi Zero Sugar is pretty good. There are some versions of pop I like, such as Dr. Pepper Ten, TaB and Pibb Zero, which only come in cans, although I haven’t seen TaB in quite some time. I like TaB because it’s sweetened with saccharin (Sweet and Low), which I find superior to aspartame and Splenda. I last saw a TaB 2-liter in 1997 in an Albertson’s in Baton Rouge.

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The Stanley Cup will remain in the United States yet again. The last Canadian team in the NHL playoffs, the Maple Leafs, choked away Games 6 and 7 vs. the Bruins. The Leafs have got to trade one of their big scorers for help on defense. I don’t care if it’s Austin Matthews, Mitch Marner or Mikael Nylander, just get help on the friggin’ blue line. And get a competent backup goalie. Heck, the Leafs had a better goaltending situation in the 80s with Ken Wregget and Alan Bester. Frederik Andersen is going to die if he keeps facing 50 shots a night like he has many times in Toronto.

The good news? The Predators and Golden Knights are also gone from the playoffs. Gary Bettman’s dream of the Stanley Cup residing in Vegas or redneck country is down to the Hurricanes, who play the defending champion Capitals tonight in Washington in Game 7. God, Washington had BETTER win. I have always despised the Carolina Hurricanes because they used to be the Hartford Whalers, whose logo is the second best in sports history, behind only the Brewers’ ball-in-glove which forms “M” and “B”. I’m not a fan of the Sharks or Stars, but they are far more palatable than Na$hville and Vega$, teams I cannot stand. And I certainly could stomach Ovechkin and the Caps much more than the friggin Hurricanes.

Na$hville, Vega$, Carolina, Tampa Bay and Florida are on my list of teams I will never, ever root for. Also on the list are the NFL’s Panthers, Buccaneers, Ravens, Dolphins and Patriots (as long as those two buttholes are there); MLB’s Reds, Orioles, Marlins, Rays and White Sox (at least as long as they keep wearing those disgusting black uniforms); and the NBA’s Heat, Magic, Nets, Knicks, Kings and whatever team LeBron is playing for. The Detroit Lions are on the list right now because Matt Patricia is a buffoon.

I’m hoping for a Blues-Bruins final. Even though Boston eliminated Toronto, I can stomach it because it was a fellow Original Six club. As for St. Louis, the Blues have not been to a Final since 1970, and they are 0-12 all-time in Finals games, getting swept in ’68 and ’69 by Montreal and in ’70 by Boston, when Bobby Orr scored the Cup-winning goal 40 seconds into overtime after he was tripped by St. Louis’ Noel Picard. The shot of Orr flying in the air is the most iconic photo in NHL history.

More importantly, two people I care about are HUGE Blues fans: Larry, my trivia buddy who I got to see last Friday, and Lisa Toebben Daniels, whom I miss greatly.

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The Bucks are resting up after sweeping the Pistons. Now they play the Celtics, who swept the Pacers, in the second round. Boston looked damn good in taking out Indiana, so I’m worried. I think this will be tougher for Milwaukee than Toronto or Philadelphia would be in the Eastern Conference Finals.

As for the West, who cares? We all know the Warriors will finish the Clippers tonight, then they’ll crush the Rockets, then either the Nuggets (hopefully) or Blazers. Why bother?

The NBA should let the Warriors have a free pass to the Finals, and have 16 other teams battle it out for the right to play Golden State for the championship. Would make things a lot more ##########################################################################

Today’s discovery: I can play Buzztime trivia in Hays.

The Golden Q, a popular hangout for Fort Hays State University students, is a new member of the Buzztime network. I have taken advantage twice today, first during a two-hour gap between appointments, and now. My favorite game, SIX, is coming up at 1930.

Now I don’t have to drive to Salina, or even farther, to play. That’s a relief.

The food is pretty good. One item I can’t find anywhere else: chicken gizzards. I’ll have to try the wings.