On the 51st anniversary of the Dallas Cowboys’ first Super Bowl championship, the 2022 Cowboys honored the 1971 team the best way they knew how.
The Cowboys went into Tampa last night and throttled the so-called greatest quarterback of all-time in a 31-14 wild card game victory which wasn’t as close as the final score.
Dallas led 24-0 (four touchdowns, four missed extra points by Brett Maher) before Tom Brady finally engineered a touchdown drive.
I did not follow the game until I happened to see the Cowboys were ahead 12-0 in the second quarter. But I did not turn on the TV. I instead went online to pick up the Dallas radio feed with the legendary Brad Sham calling play-by-play. I wasn’t about to listen to Joe Buck and Lisa Salters drool over the so-called GOAT (aka Jesus Christ in cleats).
Notice I did not say Troy Aikman. Aikman recognizes Brady’s talents, yes, but does not kiss his ass. Aikman paid his dues for 12 seasons and won three Super Bowl championships, so he isn’t about to genuflect at the altar of Brady.
I believe Super Bowl VI was the greatest game the Cowboys have played in their 63 seasons. On the biggest stage in North American team sports, the 1971 Cowboys were dominant in every way against a Dolphins team which won its next 18 games and the next two Super Bowls.
Last night, Roger Staubach was grinning from ear-to-ear watching Dak Prescott throw five touchdown passes.
Bob Lilly, Lee Roy Jordan, Chuck Howley, Cliff Harris and the rest of the Doomsday defense was beaming with pride over the way this year’s defense shut down the so-called GOAT, who was 7-0 vs. the Cowboys until last night.
Later members of Doomsday–Randy White, Ed “Too Tall” Jones, Charles Haley, Darren Woodson, Dat Nguyen, DeMarcus Ware–were enjoying it just as much, as were future offensive legends Danny White, Tony Dorsett, Michael Irvin, Jay Novacek, Larry Allen and Emmitt Smith.
Up in heaven, Tom Landry and Harvey Martin were celebrating with Tex Schramm and Clint Murchison.
I do not hate the Cowboys like so many irrational football fans do. They’re not one of my favorite teams–the Saints and Cardinals occupy those spots–but I stomach Dallas much better than a lot of teams.
Tampa Bay is one of the teams I cannot stomach and will never be able to. The Bucs’ first owner, Hugh Culverhouse, was a cheap douchebag who let John McKay run the team when he had no business being in professional football. Sure, McKay offered great one-liners to the press, but he also was a totalitarian dictator to his players and didn’t realize that he couldn’t simply hoard the best talent in the NFL like he could at USC.
I actually liked the original Tampa Bay color scheme of orange and red. I despise the current skull and crossbones flag. And I have especially hated the team after they unceremoniously fired Tony Dungy after the 2001 season and hired Jon Gruden, who has been exposed as a liar and fraud.
As a Cardinals fan, I was really, really, REALLY PISSED OFF when Bruce Arians came out of retirement to coach Tampa Bay. The son of a bitch claimed his health was failing him when he stepped away in Arizona after the 2017 season. After one season in the broadcast booth, he comes back to Tampa, then gets Brady in 2020 and wins Super Bowl LV when the Chiefs no-showed.
I don’t like any teams from Tampa, period. I hate the Lightning because the NHL doesn’t belong in Florida, or anywhere in the south. I hate the Rays because MLB keeps them in St. Petersburg and will not give baseball back to Montreal after the Expos were forced to move to Washington.
By extension, I hate Manchester United because it is owned by the Glazer family, which also owns the Bucs.
Tampa Bay, Carolina and Baltimore make up my unholy trinity of the NFL. I also hate the Rams because of how they were gifted the 2018 NFC championship vs. the Saints, then laid down like dogs in Super Bowl LIII vs. the Patriots. Of course, the way the Rams bought the Super Bowl LVI title (F**K THEM PICKS, right Les Snead?) also angered me, so it was so gratifying to see them face-plant in 2022.
The only good thing about Brady going to Tampa is he has exposed Bill Belichick as a not-so-great coach.
Belichick has won more Super Bowls than any other coach. That is a fact which cannot be rrefuted.
Greatest of all-time? GIVE ME A BREAK.
I am going to stick with my GOAT, Joe Gibbs. I’d like to see Belichick or any other coach win three Super Bowls in ten seasons with FOUR different starting quarterbacks (Joe Theismann in 1982, Jay Schroeder and Doug Williams in 1987, Mark Rypien in 1991). Also, Gibbs’ teams could run the ball with authority, and the REDSKINS never had a bad offensive line under his tenure.
Let’s hope Thomas Edward Brady never sets foot on an NFL field again. However, I can’t see it happening now that Gisele dumped his sorry ass and he’s got nothing else to live for. He’ll be playing come September. AARGH.
Sorry for not posting for so long. Then again, what would I post about? Let’s see here…
WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE COMING.
Trump? Narcissistic son of a bitch. Fucking cunt.
Biden? Lying son of a bitch dictator. Bitches about Trump executive orders, then issues more than any other president in first week of administration. The guy couldn’t wait three hours before issuing his first.
The riots in Washington? Both sides have to own it. Trump incited it, and lefties like AOC egged them on. The American political system sucks, and I hate this country more than ever.
Super Bowl? I hate the Chiefs, but I despise Tampa Bay just about as much as any other NFL team. I have hated the Buccaneers passionately since they treated Tony Dungy like shit. I hate Jon Gruden, I hate Warren Sapp, I hate Derrick Brooks, and I have nothing but disgust for Brady, Gronkowski, and Arians, the lying son of a bitch who told the Cardinals he was retiring for “health reasons”, then came back a year later with Tampa Bay. Fuck you Arians.
The Chiefs played like absolute garbage. Should have forfeited. Mahomes wanted to be with his bimbo fiancee as she was ready to give birth, Andy Reid wanted to be home to make 4,895 excuses for his criminal son driving drunk and almost killing a 5-year old girl, Kelce was bitching about anything and everything, and the Chiefs’ offensive line in the Super Bowl would have trouble blocking Raymore-Peculiar’s defensive line. In case you don’t know, Ray-Pec played for the state championship in Missouri’s highest high school classification in November.
The worst thing about the Chiefs looking so shitty was Brady won his fifth Super Bowl MVP, and the narrative of sycophant media calling him the “greatest of all time” was louder than ever. Please. Brady would have been toast if he had played in Johnny Unitas’ era, when receivers were physically beaten up and down the field and offensive linemen could not use their hands to block.
Even worse was fucking Aaron Rodgers, who is now a climate change expert just because he got engaged to actress Shailene Woodley. Olivia Munn and Danica Patrick are better off without the motherfucker. Besides, I like Willa Holland much more than Woodley as Kaitlin Cooper on The O.C.
I almost got a ticket. I pooped and peed in my pants when I was pulled over. Fortunately I was wearing pants. I have had a couple of incidents wearing shorts where the pee came flowing and got over things.
Valentine’s Day? Need I say more?
The brutal cold? So fucking what? I’d rather that than the heat I’ve dealt with all my life in Louisiana and Kansas. I hated being cooped up, but I didn’t want to subject my 17-year old car to those harsh elements.
I drove to Kansas City today just to get out of Russell and give my parents a few days without having to deal with me. They deserve it.
Everything was good until a few minutes ago.
A side entrance door would not open. Another one did.
Then an asshole whose mask did not cover his mouth tried to race in and get on the elevator with me. The motherfucker was outside smoking with two buddies, and I could smell the stench from a mile away. I panicked and accidentally hit the telephone button in the elevator. Fortunately, the door closed in the son of a bitch’s face.
I hate riding elevators with strangers, especially men. I don’t want to look at them, don’t want to talk to them, don’t want to smell them.
I despise cigarette smoking. Hate it passionately. It is so disgusting. People who do so, including my parents (my dad quit in September 1985; if he hadn’t, he would have been dead by 1995), are beyond stupid. Yes, Pete Rozelle, you were stupid. That’s why you died at 70. Yes, Bear Bryant, you were stupid. That’s why your retirement lasted four weeks. Yes, LBJ, you were stupid. That’s why you had a massive heart attack eight years before Lee Harvey Oswald (probably) made you president, and died before your 65th birthday.
With COVID, I do not want to share a confined space with anyone, period. If I were with someone I knew, I would ask them to ride the elevator first.
Tiger Woods was in a serious car accident today in Los Angeles. Of course, there was an outpouring of sympathy, with many calling him the “greatest of all time”.
Tiger still hasn’t matched Jack Nicklaus’ 18 major championships. And the competition in Tiger’s best days was Phil Mickelson and a whole lot of nothing. David Duval and David Toms won majors in 2001. If you don’t follow golf, you must ask “who the fuck are they?”. Nicklaus had to battle Gary Player throughout his career, Palmer in his early years, Tom Watson and Seve Ballesteros, among others, later.
Tiger is not a G.O.A.T. Neither is Brady.
I hope Tiger recovers from his injuries. But if he never plays another hole, I won’t shed a tear. I’ve had enough of this Tiger being the greatest narrative. Same with Brady. Same with LeBron. Same with Serena. Same with Alex Morgan and the US Women’s Association Football (I ain’t using the S-word) team. Same with anyone who voted for Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro, Mark McGwire or any other steroid user on their Baseball Hall of Fame ballot.
I had KFC delivered to my hotel this evening. Great call. I grew up one mile from the first Popeye’s, which opened in June 1972, and I still love it. But KFC is a very, very, VERY close second, if not ahead of Popeye’s. My God, the KFC original recipe is incredible. Popeye’s, however, wins hands down with their sides, especially the Cajun rice and onion rings (where you can find them). KFC biscuits are just too hard to digest. Too hardscrabble. Save those for Cracker Barrel, which I find highly overrated.
That’s all for now. Maybe my next post won’t be so gloomy. Pray for it.