I have been reminded time and again today my life sucks. I am a horrendous failure, and I should not waste other people’s food, water and oxygen. I am a total shithead for occupying space and using up precious resources which could be better allocated. September 10, 2014 will go down as another horrible day in a long, long, long line of horrible days. Maybe it’s time to stop going through this shit once and for all.

I am sick and fucking tired of working for peanuts doing something I don’t like anymore. I am sick and tired of traveling to tiny towns across Kansas to cover sporting events with a bunch of pimply faced kids whose hormones are raging. These kids have it so good. They go home, they text their friends, they have sexual chats on Skype, Snapchat or whatever, they go to bed and then get up and repeat the routine. Sure, it has to be hell going to school eight to nine hours a day, but they don’t have a shitty job, they aren’t alone, they aren’t ugly,, they aren’t hated, they don’t have to worry about a job like I do. What a great life.

I had zero friends in high school. I went to an all-boys school, and almost all of the boys I went to Brother Martin High School with were scumbag bastards I would not pee on if they were on fire. If they needed a blood transfusion, I would tell them to look for someone else to donate. If they needed me to spare a dime, I would tell them tough shit. I hated high school. Hated it. I did not want to go to Brother Martin, but it was either that or Chalmette High, and there was no way I was spending another day in the St. Bernard Parish public school system after my horrendous experiences at Arabi Park, even if the people there are very nice.

A lot of these towns in Kansas should not have schools. They are way too small. What business does a town with fewer than 1,000 people have operating a school? Bullshit. There should be one school district in Russell County, one school district in Osborne County, one in Smith County, one in Phillips County, one in Norton County, one in Ellis County….get the picture? No reason why there needs to be FOUR high schools servicing Phillips County, whose population is barely above 5,000. All kids in that county should be going to school in Phillipsburg. Period.

I have had it going to these stupid sporting events where grandparents bitch moan and complain that little Johnny or Susie isn’t getting enough playing time. I’ve had it with parents who scream for no reason, because they have no earthly idea about the rules of the game or scream at the coach for keeping their son or daughter on the bench. JUST SHUT UP.

I hate taking pictures. I am not a photographer. I am a WRITER. I never wanted to take pictures. I hate dealing with cameras that break too easily. And the next person who asks me about taking pictures will get a nice present from me, preferably a swift kick to the nuts if it’s a man or just a simple SHUT UP for a woman. Don’t talk to me. I don’t ask you about your job. Don’t bother me about mine.

Of course, every time I looked up at Facebook today, I got reminded what a gullible shit I am. I try to be nice to people and it gets shoved back in my face. I’m sure they laugh at stupid me. I’m sure they think I’m a totally clueless moron from Nowhere, Kansas. I’m sure they think I’m ugly, stupid and just about anything else you can think of. And I’m sure some think of me as a stupid white man.

I hate my life. I really hate it. Maybe it’s time to end it.