Down the hole

I got down on myself again tonight for no reason. This vicious cycle has got to stop.

i thought I was doing better, but here I went back down the hole.

Lisa Toebben posted a picture to her Facebook account which showed her and her boyfriend Jeff with Brittany Davidson and her fiance Zach celebrating Brittany’s birthday Saturday. It reminded me that I don’t have any such pictures, I don’t have any friends like that, and I have never had that in my life.

I began to cry. Elizabeth Psenski saw me and told me I needed to stop, but I was still very upset. I got out of Buffalo Wild Wings, sneaking out without anyone noticing. I was not only upset at the picture–not with LIsa for posting it, but just because it reminded me of how lonely I have been throughout my life–but I was upset that nobody had come by my table for over two hours since Lisa left.

I checked in at the Courtyard Briarcliff and cried. And cried. I suddenly remembered just how miserable I was in high school in college-alone, bullied, never doing anything, save for my days with LSU’s baseball team. If you’ve ever visited my Facebook profile, you’ll notice no pictures of me with friends. It’s all me by myself or pictures I’ve taken.

I don’t begrudge LIsa posting the pictures. She should be proud of her friendship with Brittany. But I would just like a few pictures with friends, and I would li

As much as I’ve enjoyed everyone at Buffalo Wild Wings, I would like to do something elsewhere. I want to go out other than going to Buffalo Wild Wings all the time. Hotel rooms get lonely.

About David

I am a sportswriter for a group of weekly newspapers in small towns across northern Kansas. I grew up in New Orleans, went to college at LSU and wandered in the wilderness until Hurricane Katrina finally put me on the path to my current job.

Posted on September 28, 2014, in Personal and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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