It has been quite a journey since the last time I posted. I’ve been to Russell and back–again–and had another incident which makes me question if I’m really making progress in therapy.

It happened Friday evening at Buffalo Wild Wings. I knew the place would fill up at night due to the NCAA men’s basketball tournament games which would be played that night. I wasn’t ready for the crush.

Three men I had never seen before wanted to sit around me at the bar. I got panicky, demanded my tab, and then picked up and walked away. I went out to the patio, even though it was quite cold, and sat there until someone came outside to smoke. I cannot stand smoke.

I went back inside and sat down for a few minutes. Liz suggested that I go back to the bar and sit at the end where there was open space. I did, but I felt really bad, because I felt I had embarrassed Brittany. Brittany said it wasn’t the case, and she calmed me down. She and Alex made me a smoothie–I drank it too fast and got a brain freeze–and I was able to get myself back under control. I sat out of trivia for awhile before getting back into the game.

I felt much better by time I left at 9:30. I picked up lobster from Outback Steakhouse across the street, then drove back to the hotel and ate.

I knew I had to drive back to Russell Saturday because I had to bring my parents to Kansas City. My dad’s next heart procedure at the KU Medical Center is tomorrow. Since I didn’t have a set time to be back home, I slept in.

Really slept in.

I didn’t step in the shower until after 2. By time I got out of the hotel, it was almost 3. I spent a little time at Buffalo Wild Wings because I wanted to see Brittany, and I also saw Liz and a few others before leaving a little after 5. The drive home was uneventful, and I was back at home before 9.

I’ve been back in my room at Overland Park since a little past 4. I’m about to go north to Buffalo Wild Wings for a little while.

The Final Four is set. Duke vs. Michigan State, and Kentucky vs. Wisconsin next Saturday at Indianapolis.