I’m down to the last 12 hours of my 30s.

I officially turn 40 at 9:16 a.m. Central time tomorrow. Sure, it’s officially October 13 in less than three hours, but I’m going to try to extend this as long as possibly can.

I came back to Russell today. I was SUPPOSED to go to Hays tomorrow to watch the Mid-Continent League volleyball tournament, but right now, I’m pretty much set against going. I think it would be best for me to avoid any problems. I’m praying Crista calls me before 1:30 tomorrow so we can talk it out. Right now, I don’t want to see Peggy and Caitlyn. I feel like being alone.

I should have stuck to my original plan, which was to leave tomorrow and stay in Kansas City over the weekend. I moved it up to the previous weekend because I thought I would go see Caitlyn play, and it would allow me to see Robb and Dawn twice. Now, it looks like I may be marooned at home. No way I can go to Kansas City now, since the NASCAR  Sprint Cup race at Kansas Speedway is Sunday, and the hotel rooms are booked, or else ridiculously overpriced.

Monday and Tuesday weren’t so great. I was very upset both days at Buffalo Wild Wings, and I don’t know how I didn’t explode. I saw Larry Monday and Robb and Dawn yesterday. I tried to keep my head up when Robb and Dawn were there, which I did.

I left a message with Crista at 4 yesterday, and she called about an hour later from Colby. I told her about the problems with Peggy and Caitlyn.

Volleyball is the last thing I want to watch right now. It has caused me so much trouble, in Kansas and Louisiana. I know I made some very good friends, but those friends and I have gotten into too many arguments, and it hurts badly. I can see the relationship with Peggy going the way it did with Brenda LeBlanc. That will hurt very bad.

Even if I’m home alone, can my 40th birthday be worse than my 39th? It would be very, very difficult.

Last October 13, I discovered my iPod had been stolen while I was inside Buffalo Wild Wings in Kansas City. I was also having major trouble with my finances and being hounded by phone calls. My parents were on me, too. I was crying hysterically when I left a voicemail for Crista. I saw Larry, Robb and Dawn at Buffalo Wild Wings, but it did nothing to pick me up. I was still stung over what happened with Brittany three months earlier.

I’m about to go to bed. I am not setting an alarm. Maybe I’ll sleep until 9:16, although I seriously doubt it. And I’m not falling asleep after waking up these days.

I set my alarm for 4:15 Tuesday. I didn’t wake up until 5, but somehow I didn’t fall asleep the entire day.

My new Kitchen Aid toaster was waiting for me when I got home today. It’s not a piece of shit you can buy at Walmart for $15. It’s worth every penny of the $105 (that includes tax) I spent.