A Mickey Mouse kind of place 

I went into my Howard Hughes phase yet again. Five straight days without posting. I’m not going to use Christmas as an excuse. I’ve got to do better. I’ve got to get this figured out in 2017. 

I need to do a lot of things better in 2017. Eat better. Don’t lose my cool. Don’t worry about what I don’t have. Easier said than done, of course, but at least I have a place to start. 

Bowl games are going on all day today. Georgia beat TCU in the Liberty Bowl, and Stanford is leading North Carolina in the second quarter of the Sun Bowl. Nebraska and Tennessee kick off at 2:30 in the Music City Bowl, and tonight is Florida St. vs. Michigan in the Orange Bowl. 

LSU plays tomorrow morning at 10 am vs. Louisville in the Citrus Bowl. Hopefully the Bayou Bengals can shut down Lamar Jackson, the undeserving Heisman Trophy winner, and shut up Bobby Petrino. 

Peggy and her family are on a skiing trip in Colorado. I have to admit I’m a bit jealous. I’m settling for Kansas City AGAIN. Not that I dislike anyone in KC, but it sometimes gets repetitive. On the other hand, I’m afraid to hang out at a Buffalo Wild Wings in another city, because I believe they would kick me out for loitering. The die is cast; I’m wedded to Zona Rosa for the foreseeable future. 

The farthest west I ever ventured in my first 28 years and 11 months was HAYS. I’m not saying I wanted to go skiing, but going west would have been nice. Denver. Or maybe Wyoming. But my mother hated small towns. She still does, even though she’s lived in one for almost 11 years. 

My parents DRAGGED ME KICKING AND SCREAMING to Disney World in 1985 when I was 8 1/2. It was beyond AWFUL. I hated every minute of that trip. HATED. EVERY. MINUTE. What else was I going to do? I couldn’t stay home at that age. It was a mile walk to the nearest restaurant and convenience store, and a little longer to a grocery store. It would have been awfully boring staying in the house all day, but then again, it could not have been much worse than Disney World. 

Two experiences not related to Disney World on that trip were horrifying. The first was my dad’s moronic decision to eat at a greasy truck stop in Marianna, a small town about 60 miles west of Tallahassee, on the way. The second was a tire blowing out on Interstate 75 near Gainesville. Not to mention my dad got lost leaving Kissimmee and didn’t find the Florida Turnpike until we were almost to Ocala, and the hotel in Tallahassee on the way there and back overcharging my dad’s credit card. 

My brother and his wife took their honeymoon to Disney World three years ago. Pretty dumb. I wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere near Orlando, much less be caught at Disney World. It was bad enough in 1985, when there was only the Magic Kingdom and Epcot Center. It’s a billion times worse now with MGM Studios and all the other shit. If they want to go back to Disney World with their son one day, then I can’t help their stupidity. I would never take a child of mine on that torture trip. 

I don’t remember a damn thing about Disney World that was good. Maybe the video arcade. But no ride was worth a dime. And I cannot stand roller coasters. I would only go on one if I had a significant other who wanted to. And I would have to warn her I might throw up. 

If you’re that desperate to go to a Disney theme park, then pack the bags and head to Anaheim. Disneyland may be smaller, but the weather is much better. I woudn’t be caught dead anywhere in Florida any time of the year. Yes, there is a the constant threat of earthquakes in Orange County, but I wouldn’t want to deal with the Florida heat, not to mention hurricanes in August and September. 

I’ve been to Florida four times since Disney World, all on business. Two trips were to Gainesville when LSU played Florida in baseball. Gainesville is one of my least favorite cities in the Southeastern Confernece, and Florida’s baseball stadium is a joke. The press box has no air conditioning, or at least it did when I went there. Yeah, great idea, Gators. 

The other two times were in the Florida panhandle with Delgado Community College, where I worked prior to Katrina. At least I didn’t have to worry about changing time zones. 

About David

I am a sportswriter for a group of weekly newspapers in small towns across northern Kansas. I grew up in New Orleans, went to college at LSU and wandered in the wilderness until Hurricane Katrina finally put me on the path to my current job.

Posted on December 30, 2016, in History, Personal and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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