F**K ALABAMA

So far, 2017 has been horrendous for me. Not very good. 

The only higlight was the trip to Norton last Tuesday. Then I came down with a cold and it forced me to wuss out of going to Stockton Friday. Sure, it snowed Thursday and was very cold, plus the side streets were all completely snowpacked, but why the hell did I stay home? That was pretty lame of me. 

I took NyQuil for my cold Thursday night and Friday night. HUGE MISTAKE. Made me sleep way too much. Then I used it as an excuse not to go to Stockton Friday. I don’t blame anyone at Norton for wanting to kick me in the nuts right now. They ought to. Staying home was pretty pitiful on my part. 

I’m feeling horrible in other ways. I’ve spent too much freaking time at home, watching too much bad TV. I’ve had enough football to last five years. Tonight is the national championship game for college football–Alabama vs. Clemson AGAIN–but I don’t think I’m going to watch. I’ve had enough of that fuckwad Nick Saban. What a real fucking asshole. I cannot stand that piece of shit. He enjoys treating people like garabage. FUCK HIM. Fuck Nick Saban and everything about Alabama football. In fact, fuck the entire state of Alabama. Everything about Alabama is shit. I fucking hate that place. I especially hate Tuscaloosa. Go too far from Tuscaloosa and it’s nothing but shit and piss. 

Tuscaloosa would be shit and piss too if it didn’t have the university there. Why in the fuck do people from other states want to go to college in Tuscaloosa? What, they like eating horrible barbecue? The SEC has some horrible locales. Tuscaloosa is at the very bottom, with Gainesville and Oxford right there. 

Yeah Bear Bryant was known to punch people in the nose, but at least he didn’t treat the media like shit the way Saban does. Saban is a complete shithead. But nobody should be surprised he’s a shithead, because his best friend Bill Belichick is a gigantic shithead. 

I wish Saban, Belichick and Gregg Popovich would be locked together in a tiny cell and forced to answer question after question for their freedom. Three assholes. Three shitheads. Three cunts I would not want to be caught dead with. 

I need to buy an Alabama state flag. I will start using it as a handkerchief to blow my nose. 

About David

I am a sportswriter for a group of weekly newspapers in small towns across northern Kansas. I grew up in New Orleans, went to college at LSU and wandered in the wilderness until Hurricane Katrina finally put me on the path to my current job.

Posted on January 9, 2017, in PISSED OFF and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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