I am well aware I have not posted since last Friday, when the Trump adminsitration was in its second hour. I’m sorry. 

On the other hand, things have not been going so well. Maybe it’s best I didn’t post. However, I need to get this out there. 

The rest of the Kansas City trip was fine, until late Sunday. 

The Buzztime system at Buffalo Wild Wings went down in a heap Saturday just after 8 p.m., while I was in the middle of Playback, the Saturday night game featuring music trivia. The tablet I was using just locked up on me. It did the same to LOWPOP, who was at the opposite end of the bar from me. I knew to start using the mobile playmaker app on my iPad, but LOWPOP didn’t. 

After the third round of the game was finished, I reported the problem to Chad McCart, and he rebooted the system. Problem was, my score was lost. 

I had been toying with the idea of going to Minksy’s Pizza, which is across Barry Road from Zona Rosa, to play following the conclusion of Playback. The system going down was my excuse to make the trip. 

Robb told me parking might be scarce at Minksy’s, but I found a spot quickly enough. I even got seated in time to finish Playback. The final question was about The Bee Gees. Of course I knew the correct answer.

The real reason I wanted to play at Minsky’s came between 8:30 and 9. 

Minksy’s still uses the “blue boxes” for Buzztime trivia. Those are technically known as the Classic Playmaker in Buzztime lingo, and they have an monochrome LCD screen, rather than the tablet, where the screen is more modern. The biggest catch with the Classic Playmaker is you must look at the screen for the question. It does not appear on the blue boxes, as it does on the tablets. 

You also have to look at the question on the screen when you’re using the Playmaker app on the smartphone or tablet, so I could re-adjust easily to looking at the screen for the questions. 

One thing the Classic Playmakers features which cannot be found on the tablets is two games which are played on Saturday night. 

At 8:30, there is a 10-question, 15-minute game called Ask It Already. The catch is the answers are shown first, then the question, kind of like Jeopardy! It’s the same format as The Late Shift…wrong answers wipe out one by one, no clues, so you can get stuck with zero for a particular question. 

Except I didn’t get stuck with zero. Actually, it was the opposite.

In my first game of Ask It Already since November 30, 2013, I scored 10,000. Perfection. Numero uno in the nation. And I did not share #1 with anyone else. 

The game after Ask It Already was one I love, but again, had not played since late 2013: Speed Freaks. 

The first person in Speed Freaks to answer correctly receives 1,000 points. All other players receive zero. An incorrect answer incurs a 250-point penalty, and that player is locked out for the remainder of the question. There is a maximum of 10 seconds per question. 

The catch with Speed Freaks is the quicker players answer, the more questions appear. 

Even though I was playing by myself, I wanted to answer as quickly as possible so I could see more questions. 

By time the game was over, I got to answer 26 questions. I scored 11,500, which meant I got more wrong than I did right, but it was a heck of a lot of fun. 

That’s one reason I will be going to Minksy’s on Saturday nights when I’m in Kansas City. 

The other was the lady who took care of me last Saturday. 

I was immediately impressed by Tara. She had a lovely smile, and always made sure everything was just perfect. She even asked me if I would come back the next night when she was working, which I did. 

The food at Minksy’s is very good, too. I had a calzone Saturday, and a deep dish pizza Sunday. Sure, the pasta may not be as good as what my mother prepares, but the pizza and calzone is a major step up from what I’m used to at Pizza Hut and Domino’s. 

I saw Robb and Dawn and Buffalo Wild Wings Sunday, then went over to Minksy’s to play more trivia and watch the AFC Championship game. I ate at both locations, and that led to my problems later. 

Late Sunday evening, I started to feel terrible. I had tremendous indigestion. I had trouble sleeping, and that led me to sleep very late Monday morning. I barely got done what I needed to get done. 

I didn’t go to anywhere Monday in Kansas City, except to Hy-Vee to return a milk bottle to get back a deposit, and to Outback for dinner. Other than that, I was in the room, hoping to get done what I needed to so I could go to Norton Tuesday for Caitlyn’s game. 

Stupid me didn’t plan it right, and I ended up being stuck in Kansas City until 12:15. Of course that wasn’t enough time to get to Norton, no matter if I went to St. Joseph and took US 36 across the top of Kansas, or if I went back through Russell, Hays and WaKeeney to US 283. I stopped at Abilene and apologized profusely to Peggy that I wouldn’t make it. She told me to shake it off, but I couldn’t. I felt terrible. 

Selfish. Very selfish. 

How many games this season of Caitlyn’s have I missed because of my selfishness? That’s SEVEN I can count. 

Four at Goodland in December for spending all that time in Kansas City. One at Stockton earlier this month because I couldn’t fight off a cold. One at Hill City a few days ago because I didn’t get proper rest. And the one Tuesday. 

Why do Peggy and Caitlyn still want to stick by me? Some friend I am. Putting myself first. That’s no way to go through life. It’s downright mean. 

Caitlyn plays tomorrow in Colby. I know I should go. But does the Cox family really want me there? If they don’t, I understand. It will be my own damn fault. 

The trip to Kansas City didn’t go all that well. 

Remember, stupid me dropped my phone at Dunkin’ Donuts in Overland Park a week ago today and had to get a new one. I didn’t want to get the iPhone 7; I wanted to wait for the 8. Even worse, this phone is randomly playing music when I don’t want it to. I am so angry. I want to throw this phone against the wall, but that will do me no good. I’ve got another week to figure it out. I am seriously going to have to think about driving to OP this weekend to get it checked out, or else return it. 

And then there is the problem of my huge addiction to websites I should not be visiting. 

I have wasted over $700 on Ashley Madison, the illicit website which advocates married people hooking up.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE THAT STUPID? No woman is going to go for someone who lives in Nowhere, Kansas. No woman is going to go for someone who lives in Nowhere, Kansas who looks like me, has no money, and worse, does not have the proper equipment to satisfy a woman. These women have far better options far closer to them. The few women who live near Hays want nothing to do with me. Salina is even too far. 

I have fucked my life up so much it isn’t funny. There is no way I can get it back now. I am a twisted, disgusting, deranged living organism. I am not a human being by any sense of the word. I am simply an animal in a human body. 

I told Crista today I feel my life is worthless. Why should I bother? WHY? My life is not worth it. I’m wasting other people’s oxygen, food and water. 

I’m sitting at Buffalo Wild Wings in Salina. At least I am not looking at Ashley Madison or any similar site. 

The only good thing to come out of today: I got a new CPAP mask from a medical supply store in Salina to try out for free for a few days. Other than that, my life is holy hell right now. And it is all of my own doing.