Cutting the cord with college football

One of my earliest memories of college football was falling asleep watching the LSU-Tulane game on Thanksgiving night 1983. The game was moved from the Saturday before Thanksgiving to the holiday itself in order for the game to be televised by TBS.

The game kicked off at 1930 (7:30 pm) in New Orleans, and of course, my bed time wasn’t nearly as late when I was seven as it is today. I woke up the next morning to find out LSU won 20-7, but it was not enough to save the job of Bayou Bengals coach Jerry Stovall, who was fired eight days after the game in the Superdome.

Almost 35 years later, I am done with college football.

No mas.

I have decided college football is not worth wasting my time and energy on. I have beat myself up enough over the performance of 18- to 22-year old boys and the overgrown, overpaid boys who coach them.

Urban Meyer is going to keep his job at Ohio State despite covering up for Zach Smith, a monster who consistently abused his then-wife, including when she was pregnant. D.J. Durkin has yet to be fired at Maryland despite a player dying of heatstroke on his watch.

I thought about going to the LSU-Georgia game in Baton Rouge on my birthday, October 13. Not anymore. I don’t want to drive all that way to deal with 102,000 crazy fans in Tiger Stadium, plus tens of thousands more who will do nothing but loiter around campus and drink themselves into a stupor. Besides, I can find a lot better ways to burn the money that would go into gas, hotels, food and tickets.

Do I have good memories of watching college football, both on TV and in person? Sure. But after careful consideration, I can think of many better and more productive ways to spend my Saturdays instead of being glued to a television set from 1100 to 2300.

Kansas college football is a big reason why I can’t stand it.

I am sick of hearing about the greatness of Bill Snyder. He’s done a lot of it against cupcake non-conference schedules. Kansas State proved it isn’t an elite program when it choked so brutally in the 1998 Big 12 championship game against Texas A&M, then let Drew Brees and Purdue tear it apart in the Alamo Bowl. There was that massive choke job against Baylor in 2012 when anyone in Kansas, save a few Jayhawk fans, were touting Collin

Snyder has turned arguably the worst major college program into a winner. However, Kansas State is going to relapse into pitifulness once Snyder dies (we all know he can’t retire again). K-State will be where Kansas is now.

Speaking of the Jayhawks, David Beatty is a nice guy, but not a head football coach. No way. He reminds me of Curley Hallman, who was so brutally pathetic at LSU from 1991-94. At least Beatty is not a grade-A turd like Hallman. However, let’s face it–Kansas is only in the Big 12 because of its basketball program.

The other college football in Kansas–four Division II schools and eight junior colleges–doesn’t interest me. I watched season three of Last Chance U from Independence Community College and I was totally repulsed. To say coach Jason Brown has a foul mouth would be a gross understatement.

Right now, I don’t want to hear about college football. I certainly don’t want to read about it, so I’ve made sure my mobile devices do not get any information on the sport, and I will no longer read The Advocate, the newspaper I once wrote for, nor any other paper’s college football reporting. I have to be careful on the Kansas City Star page not to click college football.

Somehow, I think my Saturdays will become more fulfilling without being a slave to the boob tube watching a bunch of 18- to 22-year old boys full of testosterone collide with one another.

About David

I am a sportswriter for a group of weekly newspapers in small towns across northern Kansas. I grew up in New Orleans, went to college at LSU and wandered in the wilderness until Hurricane Katrina finally put me on the path to my current job.

Posted on August 16, 2018, in College Football. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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