Faster than Santa’s sleigh

I spent most of the second half of yesterday preparing more than two dozen Christmas cards. I had to get them done before the end of this week so they arrive in their destinations before Christmas.

I sent Peggy and Caitlyn’s cards in a FedEx envelope to Norton. I was shocked to learn the envelope arrived yesterday. I dropped the envelope in the FedEx box on 7th Street in Hays across from Crista’s office Tuesday afternoon. I selected two-day delivery, so that meant Thursday.

Yet by 1700 yesterday, I discovered via e-mail the envelope had been delivered. Peggy told me that they came. She was waiting to open her card until Caitlyn got home from Ottawa Saturday.

The FedEx I sent to St. Joseph’s Academy with cards for Brenda and Dorinda also arrived a day early. However, that wasn’t so shocking, since Baton Rouge is much easier to access than Norton.

Both envelopes went from Hays to the sorting facility in Salina, which is off of Interstate 135 between the exits at Schilling and Water Well Roads. From Salina, they got on the plane to Memphis.

From there, the St. Joseph’s envelope flew straight to New Orleans, then was driven to Baton Rouge. Easy enough.

The one to the Cox residence took a more serpentine route. From Memphis, the envelope flew to Omaha’s Eppley Airfield, which is on the Missouri River on the Nebraska/Iowa state line, about 3 km east of TD Ameritrade Ballpark, home of the College World Series.

From Omaha, the envelope made its way to North Platte, 283 miles (456 km) to the west on Interstate 80. It wasn’t driven there, because it would have been easier to peel off I-80 at Elm Creek, drive south on US 183 into Kansas, then take K-383 to US 36 to Norton. It was flown there, but North Platte’s airport is nowhere near big enough to handle the large planes FedEx uses flying from Memphis. I’d like to know what kind of plane ferried the envelope west.

The final journey from North Platte to Norton was on the ground, meaning the driver got to go on some very narrow highways though quaint towns like Elwood and Arapahoe.

When FedEx delivers to Russell, it goes through Salina then goes on the truck there for delivery. UPS has a sort facility in Hays about 2 km west of Hays High and not too far from the Hays airport, so it goes through there.

Peggy and I were both amazed at the speed with which FedEx got the delivery done. For the record, it was 28 hours from drop off to delivery at the Cox residence.

I’m guessing the cards I mailed will take a little bit longer. The cards heading to Dan Borne’s residence in Baton Rouge will arrive for certain by Saturday because I used Priority Mail, but the others? Some in Louisiana may take a week. That, combined with rapidly rising costs, is why many Americans hate the U.S. Postal Service. I don’t hate them for certain, but I do have my beefs occasionally.

I had to mail four cards to the Borne residence–one for Dan and Lisette, one for Elizabeth, one for Rebecca, plus a birthday card for Rebecca, since her birthday is next Friday. Coincidentally, the Bornes’ youngest child, David, was born 21 December 1983, so Rebecca’s seventh birthday party never happened. Or it happened at Our Lady of the Lake hospital.

I went back and forth on sending cards to quite a few people, but I didn’t say no to anyone I listed originally. And then I thought about those I missed while driving today. That happens.

If you happen to receive a card from me in the coming days, please complain in the comments. Or text me with your complaints at 785-324-2453. Have a great day.

About David

Louisiana native living in Kansas. New Orleans born, LSU graduate. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, one toe less than most humans, addictions to The Brady Bunch, Lifetime movies, Bluey, most sports, food and trivia. Big fan of Milwaukee Bucks, Milwaukee Brewers, New Orleans Saints, Montreal Canadiens. Was a big fan of Quebec Nordiques until they moved to Denver. My only celebrity crush is NFL official Sarah Thomas. I strongly dislike LSU fans who think Alabama is its biggest rival, warm weather, steaks cooked more than rare, hot dogs with ketchup, restaurants without online ordering, ranch dressing, Donald Trump, Bernie Sanders, LeBron James, Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, Alex Ovechkin, Barry Bonds, Putin, his lover in Belarus, North Korean dictators, Venezuelan dictators, all NHL teams in the south (especially the Lightning and Panthers), Brooklyn Nets and Major League Soccer.

Posted on 2018-12-13, in Christmas and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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