Sad state of affairs

Today was awful. Beyond awful. I wish I would never have left room 1134 at the Overland Park Marriott. It would have saved me a lot of heartache, a lot of pain, and certainly a lot of tears. It also would have saved me gas and cash, but that was far, far from my mind.

I got to Buffalo Wild Wings right at 3, and I immediately saw trouble. RONDO was sitting at the bar with his Guinness Stout, showing just how smart he was by posting high score after high score at Buzztime Countdown. I was foolish enough to take him on, and he beat the living dog out of me three times. It is the worst by far I have been humiliated playing Buzztime, and it showed just how stupid I am and how much I did not learn when I was in school.

If that was not bad enough, Liz did not show up today. I thought she was working today, but it turns out she wasn’t, which was terrible news for me. I’m supposed to go back to Russell, and she’s supposed to work a double shift before leaving on her vacation in Michigan on Saturday. If she would have been there today, I would have tried not to get so angry about RONDO, but then again, I’m glad she didn’t see me melt down.

I was upset Liz did not show up today. I cried hard. I’m supposed to go back to Russell, and I get the feeling that when I come back there late this month or in August, she won’t recognize me, or she will and not want to have anything to do with me. Nearly every person who I considered important in my life has totally forgotten about me, most in Louisiana, but many in Kansas as well. Even worse, there have been many I’ve worn out my welcome with and I fear that’s going to happen here too.

Now I’ve got a dilemma: go back to Russell and not see Liz again for a long time, or stay and visit her. I doubt I am going to get any sleep tonight.

RONDO left at 5, and although my Buzztime night got much, much better, I was still very sad over what happened earlier. I want to cry yet again. I really want to let go. I really want to throw something. Maybe worse.

Once I go back to Russell, I know I’m going to be so miserable in that basement by myself. Then again, I’ve been away for over a week. Either way, it’s a tough decision.

 

About David

I am a sportswriter for a group of weekly newspapers in small towns across northern Kansas. I grew up in New Orleans, went to college at LSU and wandered in the wilderness until Hurricane Katrina finally put me on the path to my current job.

Posted on July 3, 2014, in Personal and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. This is a good post. I really like it.The sentiment behind it is well portrayed.
    NICE JOB 🙂

    i’d really appreciate if you could spare a few minutes and tell me how you feel about –

    http://akritimattu.wordpress.com/2014/06/22/the-last-thing-a-3-year-old-syrian-said-before-he-died-im-gonna-tell-god-everything/

    It’s a heart rendering picture of a child. I need more and more people to tell me what they feel, and what they have to say on this.

  2. Awwww David!!! This blog made me so sad reading it! I’m not sure who Liz is but you seem to care about her so much, I’m sorry she’s moving away! My mom always tells me “God only closes a door so he can open another”…. Most of the time I want to scream THATS SUCH BULL**IT!!!!! But it always strangely seems to end up being true. We just never can see it at the time of our crisis! Cheer up (easier said than done) and message me anytime on fb!

    • Toni I really appreciate you reading this and commenting. Liz is just a good friend of mine. She’s 17 years younger than I am and she has been in a steady relationship for four years, so there’s nothing romantic there. However, she has been a very, very good friend to me, a friend I have rarely had in my lifetime. We have grown close and I will do all I can to visit her in Colorado, since all I have to do is drive a little longer west on Interstate 70 instead of east.

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