Riding the emotional wave
It has been one heck of a roller coaster ride over the past 48 hours. I went from feeling great to feeling miserable—all my own doing–back to feeling somewhere much, much higher than miserable, but I didn’t want to get back to great just yet. But let’s say I’m far better off Tuesday at 2 p.m. than I was Sunday at 7 p.m.
I didn’t listen to Crista and it cost me dearly. Tori was bartending Sunday night, and I was so upset she had un-friended me on Facebook. I let it eat at me and eat at me. I told Liz about it, but she tried to get me to brush it off. She told me it probably wasn’t me, but maybe it was her parents or someone else. I do undertsand there’s a huge age gap between myself (39 is approaching rather quickly) and the girls at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Crista told me not to worry about social media. If someone is a friend, they will be your friend outside of Facebook or Twitter or whatever. And Tori has been that way with me for the last two years, even though I gave her really good reason not to on Opening Day in April.
I started crying and then told Tori, Liz and Sekou, who had been bartending from 11 a.m. to 5 when Tori came on, that I had no intention of going to Brittany’s wedding reception. I gave a litany of reasons why I wouldn’t go, mostly because I would be by myself and would hardly know anyone.
I told the same thing to Brittany in a Facebook message. She told me that if I wasn’t going to be comfortable that I shouldn’t come. She said she wanted me to come, but now worried that I would have an outburst and said I would get kicked out. She also mentioned security, which I took to mean she felt I couldn’t handle it and that the security would be looking only at me.
I tried to cheer up when my trivia pals Jane, Mark and John showed up, but by time I left, I was back in the dumps. I was so desperate.
I got so angry that I fired off a nasty message to one of my dearest friends, Stacie Dauterive Seube, one of the few I consider myself closer to than Liz or Brittany. In it, I told her to tell her autistic son, Collin, to give up hope. I told her Collin would end up alone and sad like me.
Needless to say, Stacie wasn’t happy with me. She had not been this angry with me since we were at Arabi Park. She had every right to be mad. However, she understood what I was feeling about the wedding reception.
I penned a long letter to Crista, hoping that by faxing it to her in Hays that she would get in touch. Only a few paragraphs got through, but it was enough to have her call me a little after 9. We talked for 15 minutes, and she told me that at weddings, there just isn’t a lot of time to talk to everyone and the bride and groom are busy with pictures, greeting guests and all the like. She spoke from practical experience since it was that way for her and Lance at their wedding.
Then Peggy Cox chimed in. She told me I needed to go to the reception because it was about Brittany (and Zach) and I should celebrate that.
I then told Brittany what Crista and Peggy told me and she was glad I was feeling better.
Enjoyed my Monday at Buffalo Wild Wings. Robb and Dawn showed up from 4:30 to 6, and then Dan and Pam came from 6:30 to 9:30. All around a great time.
I slept in today. Finally dragged myself out of the room to get back to my bartsool for 2 and the beginning of Buzztime’s Countdown. It’s going on an hour and a half as of right now.